Black: The half-polled rooty toot | TheFencePost.com

Black: The half-polled rooty toot

Baxter Black
www.baxterblack.com

Yer not gonna keep'er, still, are ya Dad?

She must be 12 years old.

I RECKON SHE'S CLOSER TO 14 NOW,

AND NATURALLY HALF POLLED.

You mean she was sired by a hornless bull?

NO. SHE'S JUST GOT ONE HORN.

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WHICH MAKES HER HALF POLLED OR BETTER YET

IT MAKES HER HALF UNICORN.

She could be half clam if your logic's right

Clams don't have any teeth.

YOU'RE CHANGIN' THE SUBJECT. WE'RE TALKIN' 'BOUT HORNS,

ONE, SHE WASN'T BEQUEATHED.

She could be half deer and just shed one off

While grazin' through the wire.

And checkin' this eye you might conclude

A cyclops was her sire.

Her stumblin' skip's like a circus horse,

Always takin' a bow.

SON, YOU'RE OVERLOOKIN' HER GREATEST TRAIT,

WHY, SHE'S A GAITED COW!

A half polled cyclops with teeth like a clam.

A gaited cow, to boot!

Why don't you start a new registered breed,

Call it the Rooty Toot!

Half the pinkeye, more room at the bunk,

And easier to ride.

Rooty Toot breeders will flock to your door.

Dad, don't you have any pride.

You're only lookin' to find an excuse

To keep her on the place.

I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW I MAKE MY DECISIONS

ON COST, IN EVERY CASE.

WHILE YOU WERE BABBLIN' AND RATTLIN' ON

TRYIN' TO VILIFY,

I DECIDED TO KEEP HER ONE MORE YEAR,

AND YOU'RE THE REASON WHY.

'CAUSE BEIN' THE PRACTICAL MAN THAT I AM,

I SAY, WASTE NOT, WANT NOT.

SEE, I SAW YOU GIVE HER THAT VITAMIN A

AND, I'D HATE TO WASTE THAT SHOT. ❖