Mad Jack: Tales From the O-No Ranch 7-30-12 | TheFencePost.com

Mad Jack: Tales From the O-No Ranch 7-30-12

by Mad Jack Hanks
Wellington, Colo.

Gentle readers, I just came in from the front deck this Saturday morn. It is really, really hot and not a whisper of a breeze. I have had my breakfast, visited with my bro down in Texas, fed the ponies and have been admiring this beautiful country in which I live. The grass is green and there is still a patch or two of snow up in the high mountain valleys. What a beautiful morning. The coffee was for some reason just a little better than usual.

As I sat gazing at the scenery my mind for some reason wandered off into my going dancing last night and all of the characters that I have tagged with my own special names. That's part of my job, as I see it, as a cartoonist is to pick out folks that stand out among the crowd for some reason or another. I'll give you some examples:

First there is Animal, you will see him

on occasion in my cartoons. Animal is

That’s part of my job, as I see it, as a cartoonist is to pick out folks that stand out among the crowd for some reason tor another.

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a local guy here and he is a big, big man. Full beard and light on his feet on the dance floor like you wouldn't expect.

Now, I didn't give Animal his nick name. He had already been tagged before I met him. You might confuse him with a grizzly if you bumped into him in the deep forest after dark.

Then we have the "professor." The professor is a little short bald man who lays out on paper what type of dance steps he wants to do with his wife. Many, too many times, you will see him on the dance floor dancin' by himself with an imaginary woman. I thought he looked like a nutty professor so I tagged him the "professor."

Of course we have "catfish" and he is carrying that tag because he reminds me of a big Texas mud cat.

Mighty Mouse is one of the most noticed of all these characters. He is noticed because he seems to really need the attention. I understand that he is elderly and has deep pockets. He is a little bitty guy with more energy that guys 20 years his junior and he loves to dance with the young girls and many of them come seek him out as they like to dance with him as well. The only problem we have with Mighty Mouse is he doesn't follow the usual dance patterns for country and western dancing or any other dancing as far as that goes. He has an unusual style of running all over the place and I have accidently knocked him down on two different occasions as I did not see him coming up behind me.

Grasshopper, we are starting to get a little concerned about. We haven't seen him in a while. He is a retired rancher from New Mexico and in the winter he goes, or so he has told me, down to South America and lives in some little village where it is warm and beats the Colorado winters. He is fluent in Spanish and goes to different countries down there at different times. He is long, tall, wears glasses, always has a huge smile on his face and hops around the dance floor so thus the name "Grasshopper."

I have had women come up to me and say, "So I hear you have names for everyone here … 'What is my name?'"

I'm not a dummy, I reply, "We call you 'the beautiful one!'"

That seems to work most of the time. I have no idea what they call me but my suspicion is that it may not be to my liking and again, "quien sabe" (who knows)?

I am known to many of them as just Jack or Mad Jack. Just the same it is fun to have fun with life and get a little silly on occasion. Why not? Normal looking and normal acting folks just don't get a nick name because they just don't qualify. Do you have a nick name?

Stay tuned, check yer cinch on occasion and I'll c y'all, all y'all. ❖