Milo Yield: Laugh Tracks in the Dust 8-27-12 |

Milo Yield: Laugh Tracks in the Dust 8-27-12

My wife, Nevah, and I passed a milestone of sorts recently. The river of our married life passed under the 48th bridge on August 16. Yep, she’s put up with me and my B.S. for 48 years. Hard to believe, ain’t it?

Like any marriage, ours has had its ups and down and a few bumps along the way, but in the main it’s been a long stretch of smooth going. And, the fruits of her labor has been two daughters and six grandkids.

I feel comfortable in saying ours has been a successful marriage. After all, our main area of contention is cooking. Ol’ Nevah is a stickler for following cooking recipes to the T, while my notion of a recipe is to give me a suggested list of ingredients and procedures from which I regularly diverge to fit my own tastes, inclinations and ingredients that I have on hand for the occasion.

Her way of cooking ain’t wrong, it’s just predictable. It always results in a tasty dish. My way of cooking ain’t wrong either, it’s just occasionally surprising — adding a little spice to our recipe for life.

We haven’t set any long-term goals going forward from 48. We just wanna make it to 49.


Well, the weather has turned around a bit. We’re still stuck in the drought, but the temperatures have dropped from the hundreds for highs down to the low-90s and 80s, with nights down as low as the upper 50s.

On top of that we had two nice little rains — one of an inch and another of a quarter-inch. That welcome moisture prompted me to plant to fall green beans and radishes. We’ll have to see how that works out.


A neighbor’s pond is going dry. It’s down to a couple of pools a few feet deep about the size of our house. The pond is full of nice channel catfish that are going to die if we don’t get rain soon, so recently I took some neighbor kids and fished those puddles. We caught seven catfish, the biggest probably six pounds.

It’s so sad to me to watch a pond go dry. My pond here at Damphewmore Acres is rapidly diminishing in size, too. Without substantial rains this fall, my fish population will be in trouble also.


My friends the Parker Looselys have had a rough summer. Early on, ol’ Parker got kicked in the chest by a steer, which broke several ribs. Then his lovely missus bailed over a fence to escape a rogue beef critter and broke her arm. Then one of the Loosely sons dropped a trailer tongue on his foot and broke it.

I’ve got a suggestion for them. Stay away from cattle and cattle equipment until everyone heals up.


My Missouri friend Willie Joe tells me the drought is so bad at his farm that’s he’s turned to prayer to get through it.

Willie says he prayed for rain and nuthin’ happened.

Then he prayed to win the Missouri lottery to have enuf money to keep on farming — and nuthin’ happened.

Then Willie says he spoke directly to the Lord and asked Him why he hadn’t answered his prayers. Willie said he about jumped out of his overalls when a deep voice boomed from the heavens: “Son, you have to meet me half way. Go buy a ticket!”


Got a postcard from Nebraska that said, “My wife left a note on the fridge when I came in from irrigating. The note said, ‘It’s not working, I can’t take it anymore! Gone to stay at my parents.’

“So I opened the fridge, the light came on and the beer was still cold. Not sure what she was talking about.”


Got this suggestion from Colorado on how to solve the nation’s unemployment situation. Give everyone a purebred horse to care for. They’d have to pay for feed that’s grown by farmers with families to support, that’s sold by someone with a family to support and transported in trucks by someone with a family to support and manufactured in a factory by people with families to support. They’d have to build a barn built by construction workers with families to support with materials trucked by drivers with families to support from factories with workers with families to support.” Sounds logical to me.


It’s time for my afternoon nap. So, I’ll close with these words of wisdom about naps from the ancient philosopher Ovid: “There is more refreshment and stimulation in a nap, even of the briefest, than in all the alcohol ever distilled.”

’So, I guess the best nap is right after drinking a beer. Think I’ll try it. Have a good ’un. ❖