Got tricked, not treated, on Halloween Eve | TheFencePost.com

Got tricked, not treated, on Halloween Eve

Laugh Tracks in the Dust
Milo Yield
Damphewmore Acres, Kan.

Well, folks, last week wuz a really good week, except for the horse racing part of it. Horse racing, sadly wuz the low point of the week. The 2-year-old Thoroughbred colt that I have a 10% racing interest in ran his first official race last week on Halloween Eve at Remington Park in Oklahoma City.

It wuz a maiden, one-mile, $20,000 claiming race for 2-year-olds with a $15,000 purse. There were 10 horses in the race and our horse, Kumsee Mytrick, drew the not optimal post position #1. Now that you know the parameters of the race, I’ll tell you how “Trick” finished.

He finished dead last in the 10-horse field.

However, he may have had some excuses. First, he had never run a mile before, but neither had any of the other entries. Second, he’d never run at night before and he’d never ran in a big field of horses. Third, he got pinched in against the rail at the start. And, fourth, he perhaps wuz suffering some lingering effects of a minor equine virus that he caught and wuz treated for two weeks ago.

“Trick” handled himself maturely and satisfactorily in the saddling paddock and loading into the starting gate. After the start, he just wuzn’t on top of his game. He’d run better training races.

Oh, well, that’s why they call horse racing a form of “gambling.” We gambled. We lost the first race. We got tricked, rather than treated, on Halloween Eve. Now, we’re waiting for his second race to see if he can improve.

Despite losing the race, we still had more than 20 folks who made for a lively racing party at the track. Overall, my personal bets for the evening lost me about $30. I won around $80, but I still lost more than I won. But, being rational about the evening’s fun. It still cost me less than a single football game ticket or parking lot stall at a college or professional game.

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Speaking of football last weekend, both of my alma maters, Bea Wilder U #1 and Bea Wilder U #2 won their games, one against an arch rival. Plus, the Kansas City Chiefs won their game with a backup quarterback. Plus, the basketball teams from both alma maters won their games, too.

So, all in all — a pretty good weekend. A bonus wuz spending a day with our great-granddaughter and “her” family. I also ate lunch at “Millennial Central” while I wuz wearing my best bib overalls. I stuck out like a sore thumb. I enjoyed that!

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You’ll recall that I sold my Brittany bird dog, Mandy, last August to ol’ Hunter N. Shoer. I told Hunter to keep me posted as to how Mandy behaved on her first wild pheasant hunt, which he said he had scheduled in South Dakota.

Well, Hunter kept his word, sort of. Last week he sent me a picture of Mandy from South Dakota. She wuz lounging on a plush bed in a motel, laying next to an empty Grandfather’s Pizza box, and with a half-bottle of Crown Royal sitting on the bedside table.

Ray’s comment about the picture wuz: “Mandy is picking up some bad habits on her first pheasant hunt.”

I think he’s right because Mandy had never once been on an indoor bed, eaten pizza, nor drank booze. It proves that good dogs can be led astray by nonchalent owners.

•••

In this crazy political season leading up to the election in 2020, we’ve heard some policy “trillonaire dillies” from the herd of candidates wanting to oust or evict the current resident from the White House.

Well, what do you know? Along comes an idea out of the blue from some wag on the internet (certainly not original with me) that is simply called “A Plan for Trump.” It goes like this:

The top eschelon of candidates in the party out of power believes, not in biological reality, but that a man can be declared a woman and a woman can be declared a man and that such a delusion should be encouraged, not discouraged. Discouragement of the delusion is considered immoral and bigoted, perhaps even racist.

Thus, our society is faced with unnecessary dilemmas concerning which bathrooms to use, athletic competitions at all levels, and “pronoun” controversies on most of our campuses of higher education, therefore, subjecting ourselves to all manner of confusing and confounding laws, rules, regulation and more needless government control.

Here is a suggestion to break the ridiculous gender ideology and denial of biological reality.

The president should make a declaration that he is identifying as a woman. Members of his opposition will have to admit the absurdity of their gender ideology, or else accept and celebrate “Donna Trump” as the first woman president.

In essence, “Donna Trump” will usurp most of the platform of his opposition.

See how absurd politics can get? Wanna bet they don’t get more absurd and ridiculous during the election of 2020.

•••

Aggie factoid of the week: “More households in the U.S. keep chickens as pets than watch CNN in primetime.”

Maybe there’s hope for us all. Have a good ‘un. ❖