When will the next shoe drop? | TheFencePost.com

When will the next shoe drop?

Laugh Tracks in the Dust
Milo Yield
Damphewmore Acres, Kan.

I don’t like to complain, but this summer and fall have been the seasons of our “mechanical discontent and unplanned expense.”

Long ago I noted to you faithful readers that I’m not mechanically minded. I joke that I’m a wordsmith, not a blacksmith. I think that’s why Murphy’s Law sees to it that I have more than my share of problems with mechanical things.

Just to name the unplanned expenses that involve mechanical things, I’ll start off with the complete rebuild of my tractor’s power take-off. That repair came to a shade less than $3,000.

Next was the dishwasher in the kitchen. It shot craps and had to be replaced. Expense, well over $600.

Then the two wind major storms this summer brought about the need to buy a new power paint sprayer and hire the house to be repainted, shutters replaced, and a window replacement. Expense — around the $2,000 neighborhood.

Also wind related wuz the 24-hour power outage that required me to buy a generator, which I never had to use because the electricity wuz restored just as I prepared to start the new generator. Expense — more than $900.

Next up? The front burner on the kitchen’s electric range malfunctioned. The repairman is ordering replacement parts. Expense, as yet still unknown.

Then this week came another major mechanical device malfunction. Our home furnace had to be replaced. The heat exchanger on our old 19-year-old furnace burnt out. The fancy new new furnace — with a bewildering array of bells and whistles — is now installed. Expense? $5,500.

On the recreation side of life, my old trolling motor for my fishing boat had to be replaced. So, I bought a new and more powerful one for $225.

The rough total expense for replacing failed mechanical devices comes to more than $10,000.

Now, I’m wondering when the next shoe will drop? My pickup and utility vehicle are both getting old. They’ll probably be next.

•••

Well, the early frost nailed the late-planted soybeans in the Flint Hills. It finished off my tomatoes, peppers, sweet potatoes and dry beans. I’ve got all that stuff harvested and stored or given away. I’ve even tore down the tomato cages, the dry bean trellis, and all the raised garden beds, stored them away for winter, and tilled and planted late wildlife/chicken food plots. The plots got planted so late, I’m not expecting a good stand. However, if we get a little moisture and a couple weeks of sunny fall weather, the plot seedlings may emerge.

I will report that my sweet potato harvest yielded some huge spuds. A couple of them weighed more than 5 pounds and were as big as footballs. My peppers produced all season and I gave away more than we used or froze by far.

I’ve even got all the yard mowed for hopefully the last time this year.

•••

Now I’ll give you a race horse report. First, I confess that I’ve been funning with you on the horse’s name. Now that he’s getting closer to his first actual race, I’m gonna divulge the horse’s real name, just in case folks want to bet their life savings on him (just kiddin’). The race horse I have 10% racing interest in is really named Kumsee Mytrick, not Giant Clawsway as I’ve led you to believe. His real name reflects his sire’s name Kumiva and a leading mare’s name.

“Trick” was supposed to race for the first time at Remington Park in Oklahoma City, on Oct. 16. That failed to materialize because officials changed the race qualifications. Then Trick’s first race was moved back to Oct. 23. Alas, a minor-league equine virus swept through Remington’s barns and Trick got a little fever and needed medication. Result? No race on the 23rd.

Now, all us “Trick” folks are planning on a race party sometime between Oct. 30 and Nov. 2. Hope that pans out for us. I’ll try to give you a heads-up next week.

•••

An elderly farmer met his neighbor at the feed store in town and he mentioned to his friend, “I just bought a new hearing aid. It’s state-of-the-art. Cost me more than $4,000. But I can really hear well with it.”

“That’s good news,” replied his neighbor. “What kind is it?”

The first farmer cheerfully answered, “Twelve thirty. Let’s go eat lunch.”

•••

After being married for 30 years and toiling alongside her farmer husband all that time, a farm wife asked her husband to describe her.

He looked at her for a while then said, “Well, since it’s our anniversary, I’m telling you “you’re an alphabet wife -— A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K.“

Puzzled, she said “Just what in the world do you mean by ‘alphabet wife’?”

He replied, “You’re Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous, and Hot.”

She smiled happily and said, oh, that’s so lovely and thoughtful, but what about I,J,K ?

He said with a grin, “I’m Just Kidding!”

The black around his eyes may be gone by Thanksgiving Day.

•••

Words of wisdom for the week: “Time is unrefundable. Use yours wisely every single day.”

Have a good ‘un. ❖