‘National Day’ day | TheFencePost.com

‘National Day’ day

As everybody knows, on every single day in every single month in every single year, there's a designated "National Day" celebrating whatever. Such as: the National Bird Day or the National Hat Day or — you get the idea.

I have, thereby, been inspired to contrive a Personal Designated National Day for each day of January 2019 to honor (embarrass) the ideas, resolutions, activities, ponderings and time-wasting moments that occur in this household.

• January 1 is … Failure to Keep New Year's Resolution Day

• January 2 is … Failure to Check Vehicle in Response to Dash Light Indicating Low Tire Day

• January 3 is … Accidentally Shutting Cat in Bathroom Day

• January 4 is … Forgetting to Mail Past-Due Christmas Cards Day

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• January 5 is … Yelling at Cat on Kitchen Counter Day

• January 6 is … Cowdog Chasing Deer Day

• January 7 is … Horse Getting in Carport and Leaving Deposits Day

• January 8 is … Pick Up Week's Mail from Post Office and Throw Out Junk Mail Day

• January 9 is … Avoid Boredom by Not Attending Organization Meeting Day

• January 10 is … Refrain from Murdering Annoying Cat Day

• January 11 is … Failure to Write Checks for Bills Due Yesterday Day

• January 12 is … Edit Manuscripts Day

• January 13 is … Find Arms and Legs Day

• January 14 is … Avoid Cooking Day

• January 15 is … Return Overdue Books to Library Day

• January 16 is … Avoid Attending Wind Farm Pro/Con Meeting Day

• January 17 is … Join Friend for World Problem-Solving Adult-Beverage Lunch in Town Day

• January 18 is … Write New Song Parody About Current Politics Day

• January 19 is … Pizza with Anchovies Day

• January 20 is … Edit Manuscript Day

• January 21 is … Edit Still Another Manuscript Day

• January 22 is … Failure to Edit Manuscripts Day

• January 23 is … Make Appointment for Hair Dye and Pedicure Day

• January 24 is … Finally Mail Christmas Cards Day

• January 25 is … Finally Write January Bills Day

• January 26 is … Determine to Be Early Writing Weekly Column Day

• January 27 is … Scream at Telemarketers Day

• January 28 is … Failure to Have Kept Any New Year's Resolutions Day

• January 29 is … Get Dressed Before Noon Day

• January 30 is … Write This Week's Column Ahead-of-Time Day

• January 31 is … Failure to Write Column Ahead-of-Time Day

Conclusion: Maybe things will improve in February. And … my favorite Day is number 17. ❖