Petersen: A friendly interstate rivalry
As do other states that neighbor with one another, Montana and North Dakota have a dumb-jokes exchange going. Which is to say, Montana jokes make fun of North Dakotan activities and people and North Dakota does the same but targets Montana foibles and folks.
Here’s a sample of some of the put-on witticisms from either standpoint.
Q. What does it say at the top of a Montana/North Dakota ladder?
A wine list in a North Dakota/Montana restaurant reads:
1. Red Wine. 2. White Wine. (Order by number).
The Doctor told the Montana/North Dakota cowboy that his ailing wife would benefit from sea air. So, he went home and fanned her with a sardine.
Q. What did the North Dakota/Montana cowboy say when asked why he always dragged around a log chain?
A. “I tried pushing, but that didn’t work.”
Q. Why is the Montana/North Dakota space program in trouble?
A. The cowboy astronauts keep falling off the kite.
The weather in North Dakota/Montana: Winter and Construction.
Q. How can you tell if a Montana/North Dakota cowboy is level headed?
A. When the Snus runs evenly from both corners of his mouth.
The Doctor asked the North Dakota/Montana cowboy if he’d followed his advice and drank lemon juice after a hot bath?
The cowboy replied: “By the time I got done drinking the bath, I was too full to drink the lemon juice.”
Q. Why did the Montana/North Dakota cowboy buy a new pickup?
A. He couldn’t keep up the payments on his old one.
Q. Why did the North Dakota/Montana farmer plow his field with a steam roller?
A. He wanted to grow mashed potatoes.
Q. Why does the Montana/North Dakota cowboy smile every time there’s lightning?
A. He thinks he is having his picture taken.
Q. How does a North Dakota/Montana cattle rancher count his cows?
A. He counts their feet and divides by four.
Q. How do Montana/North Dakota cowboys lose 5 pounds?
A. They take a shower.
Q. Why can’t North Dakota/Montana cowboys raise chickens?
A. They plant them too deep.
Q. What is a North Dakota/Montana symphony?
A. Three kazoos and a nose whistle.
Did you hear about the Montana/North Dakota cowboy who heard that goats make excellent lawn mowers? He tried a couple but couldn’t teach them how to start the mower.
Did you hear about the Montana/North Dakota cowboy who thought high cholesterol, gluten free and lactose intolerance were religious holidays?
Did you hear about the North Dakota/Montana cowboy who went into the chicken coop and lost his wad of snoose? He thought he found it three separate times.
Did you hear about the Montana/North Dakota cowboy who said he’d give his right arm to be ambidextrous?
Did you hear about the North Dakota/Montana cowboy who got stranded on an escalator during a power outage?
Q. What does a Montana/North Dakota cowboy call a camel?
A. A horse with bucket seats.
In a restaurant, a North Dakota/Montana cowboy was asked, “Do you prefer red or white wine?”
“It doesn’t matter to me,” said the North Dakota/Montana cowboy.
“I’m color blind.”❖