Petersen: Hellbent for Election | TheFencePost.com

Petersen: Hellbent for Election

Recently, a fellow writer said she found writing comedy was hard.

She asked, "How do you do it? Where do you get material and ideas?"

"Well," I answered, "besides looking at my face in the mirror each morning, all I have to do is read or listen to the political news."

Once you get over the nausea produced by listening or watching the D.C. shenanigans, you realize political machinations are tarpits of bottomless comedy. While it's inevitable that most things in life will change and/or evolve, it's NOT so within the fine art of politics. The political scenarios remain a continual three-ring circus; only the players come and go. Where can you find a more-than-full-measure of passion, prevarication, bombastic lying, intrigue, deception, bizarre schemes, bedroom or boardroom indiscretions, and crimes up to and including murder, suicide and mayhem? The political arena, that's where.

“Pullquote.”

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A whole bunch of years back, I penned a song parody about the then-current mess in D.C. The parody still works. It's an all-purpose ditty that may be hummed, bellowed or muttered to the tune Deck the Halls. Or you can print it out and line a bird cage with it.

Hellbent for Election

Deck the voting booths with holly

Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

See the politicians jolly

Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

They have stated viewpoints several

Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

All their plans they loudly herald

Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

Hear them promise in a chorus

Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

Claiming that they're always for us

Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

Follow them in merry measure

Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

While they pledge to us a treasure

Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

When the old guard finally passes

Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

Hail the new; we're hopeful masses

Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

Here we go now in a lather

Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

Vote and hope it really matters

Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

Drive to town where we are voting

Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

Don't raise taxes we are hoping

Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

Have we voted in new bullies?

Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

Will they listen to us fully?

Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

As we tend our sheep and cattle

Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

We will wait to hear new prattle

Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

Heedless of the wind and weather

Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

Politics goes on forever

Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la…LA! ❖