Yield: GI and the family dog | TheFencePost.com

Yield: GI and the family dog

For being retired, ol' Nevah and I have been pretty busy the past week. The first thing we did wuz attend another country music concert in the fine, old, ornate Grenada Theater in Emporia, Kan. The star of the show wuz Texan, Tracy Byrd.

Byrd did a wonderful two-hour show without an intermission. He played most of the songs that made him famous — and probably rich. All in all, we enjoyed it immensely, although, I'll say it again, I don't know why musicians of all stripes have to play their music so loud in concerts. My ol' head and ears were thrumming when the concert wuz over.

After the show, I stopped to buy a CD of Byrd's new songs and we got to the souvenir stand the same time he arrived. So, we got to shake hands, make a little small talk, and he autographed the CD three times before he could get his pen to work. I think it wuz the first time that I ever got an autograph from a star — mainly becuz I never try to get them. I just stumbled into Tracy Byrd's autograph.

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The next event wuz attending the 50th wedding anniversary reception of our long-time friends, Jim and Donna, down at Altamont, Kan. They had been married for just a few years when we moved into that locale and it wuz fun to see how their three kids grew up to be successful and to see many of their grandkids for the first time.

We spent three hours at the reception and met a plethora of old friends we hadn't seen for many a moon. Strangely, they'd all gotten older over the years, too. But that didn't keep us from reminiscing about many fond memories and good times shared.

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The next morning, we drove up to Manhattan, Kan., for a post-50th birthday brunch with our eldest daughter, son-in-law, granddaughter, new grand son-in-law, grandson and soon-to-be grand daughter-in-law.

We had a wonderful time, but after brunch wuz over, everyone else had things to do and Nevah and I had time on our hands. So, we did some local sight-seeing near Milford Lake, west of Junction City, Kan. We toured the fish hatchery and Kansas Nature Center there, discovered a wonderful resort on the lake that we might just stay at sometime, re-located a local golf course near the lake, and then returned home via the uber-scenic route through Dwight, Kan., and Council Grove.

While in Council Grove, we purchased our life-time senior passes to all federal parks and memorials. It wuz the last day to buy them for $10. The next day the same lifetime pass would have cost us $80 each. So, while we won't use the passes all that much, we figgered we saved $140 dollars on our trip.

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This week, Nevah left me to my bachelor ways as she is attending a quilting seminar in Hamilton, Mo., for four days. She called it a seminar. I called it a quilting party. Regardless, I used my bachelor time to get ready for fall fishing and the opening of the dove hunting season. Tomorrow my new Colorado buddy, ol' Sawyer Bord, and I will spend the day BS-ing and probably do a little fishing, too.

Then on Sept. 1, my ol' college buddy at Bea Wilder U, Claude Hopper, from Pratt, Kan., will join me for a few days of combo hunting/fishing/imbibing.

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When you're old and retired like I am, it leaves you with a lot of time to philosophize about life in general. For instance, I thought about it and think I've figgered out the Secret to Inner Peace.

If you can start the day without caffeine,

If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,

If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,

If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it,

If you can understand why your loved ones are too busy to give you any time,

If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,

If you can conquer tension without medical help,

If you can relax without alcohol,

Then you are probably — The Family Dog!

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And, another country philosopher, ol' Dee Pfthinker, wrote and said that he believes he's discovered something more serious than global warming. It is now time to be concerned about an ongoing development that may well be even more threatening — especially to us old folks. Gravity Intensification! (GI)

Dee said GI became quite obvious to him when he recently replaced his tractor battery. It was much heavier than when he first installed it. Sacks of mineral and spare tires are also affected. Even his spouse is not immune to GI.

Dee suspects this GI phenomenon is due to meteorites increasing the mass of the earth, although it might be a subtle increase in the theoretical gravitational constant. Either one is a grave concern. He's hoping that Al Gore realizes he is likewise afflicted by GI and alarms us all with a movie that inspires Congress to establish a corrective action program. The situation is so urgent, Dee says "gravitational intensification" may soon pin him into his well-used lawn chair."

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That's scary, but not as scary as the epic floods in Texas and Louisiana from Hurricane Harvey. Pray for those folks and send them some relief $$$ if you can. Have a good 'un.❖