Tales from the O-NO Ranch 12-14-09 | TheFencePost.com
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Tales from the O-NO Ranch 12-14-09

Mad Jack Hanks
Wellington, Colo.

Gentle readers, I am glad that I am not in the ditch today. I mean that in a physical term as this Decemburrrr is purty cold already. It was about zero this morning when I went out to do chores and will be below that, or so they say, in the morning. However, that is not what this column is about. Nope, I’m referring to the fact that I am really in the ditch when it pertains to the information highway.

Yesterday I was going through the paper looking at all the sales on high tech gadgets – I don’t know what they are or what they do! I really don’t and I feel intimidated that I am so far behind with all this new stuff. Truth is, I have misplaced my “give a darn” when it comes to really wanting to know what all this stuff is or what it does. I reckon I’ll just have to leave that part of my life to the younger and more informed generation. The pages in the paper were full from corner to corner with items I tried to use some common sense on and figure out what they did. There were no clues for me to follow. I know what an iPod is and what it’s basic functions are and that is just about the length of my information rope. Sure I have a computer and I can access the Internet, send and receive e-mails and write this column and friends that’s just about it.

On the other side of the ledger I would bet ya that 95 percent of the “high techers” couldn’t tell you what a running martingale, a jingle bob, or a spade bit is for either! How about them apples. My guess is that one might query that a spade bit is a shovel that has a drill bit on the end of it? Quein Sabe? Who knows what their minds might come up with. I don’t know if that puts me on a level playing field with those other folks. I would reckon not since I’m comparing apples to road apples here.

I wonder why we need e-mail, texting, blogging, Facebook, MySpace, and all this stuff just to communicate. The only time I text is when I call some friend or relative in Texas on that obsolete contraption called a telephone. I don’t know that the ditch is really all that bad of a place to be, I would like to be able to have access to all that my cell phone has to offer I just can’t seem to get it programmed like it should be. Seems like folks are all walking around lookin’ down at that flip top cell phone and either dialing a number, sending an e-mail, taking a picture or texting somebody. Heck, we don’t even have the common decency to acknowledge the folks around us ’cause we’re just too busy sending or receiving those cute little conversations where words aren’t even spelled correctly.

Oh well, I either have to get myself out of the ditch and get educated and be like most of the rest of society or just wander along kickin’ cans as I stumble down the ditch. I really think that we are dealing ourselves a losing hand and we’re gonna’ miss out on some very important social graces that ought not be so endangered as they are today. I would almost bet ya that ole Tiger wishes that maybe he had strayed off in the ditch with me instead of where he wound up!

Stay tuned, check yer cinch on occasion and I’ll c. ya.

As an afterthought those of you who might want one of my 2010 “Hoots” Cowboy calendars, they are available at Ace Hardware in Wellington, Colo., 287 Supply in Fort Collins Colo., or I am at P.O. Box 825, Wellington, Colo., 80549. Thanks!


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