Tales from the O-NO Ranch | TheFencePost.com

Tales from the O-NO Ranch

As I pondered my column over coffee and biscuits and gravy at the T-Bar Inn this morning, the waitress said, “Mad Jack, a really cute lady was in yesterday and asked if you ever came in here. I told her you did and she said she was a big fan and would love to meet you.”

Whoa! I say whoa! That was certainly an uplift for my morning, however, that’s not what my column is about. It’s not about women ’cause I ain’t no expert when it comes to females. Actually, I’m not an expert at anything. I decided that while I was watering my trees after I got back to the O-NO. I thought about writing my column about cattle futures or maybe the conflict in the Middle East or maybe cellulite in women over 40.

Oooppps, I just remembered that I’m not an expert when it comes to women.

Cellulite could be looked at another way if your mind works like mine.

“Sell you lite!” ” a woman that doesn’t spend as much when out shopping as most women. Ooopppps, there I go again tryin’ to be an expert.

What is an expert anyway? It’s someone who can write about cattle futures or the Middle East or why the two political parties, the Dems and the Repubs, can’t seem to ever find common ground that works for the good of the whole! I’m also wondering if an expert is an “ex-pert.” Is an expert someone that was a pert at one time and is now an X? I don’t think I have any idea what a pert is, do you? If you were ever a pert and know what it is, let me know so that I can clear my mind on what the difference is between the two … and is an expert actually better than a pert?

I’m sure that I’m neither and I’ll just let it go at that. I have tried to think of something that I know a lot about and could offer an opinion that would be considered worth considering.

I know! Now I know what I am good at and what might qualify me as a pert or an expert, and that’s being a grandpa. It very well could be that I could converse with anyone about being a grandpa.

Since Little Miss Martha passed, I have been grandma and grandpa to my six little ones. I promised Martha that I would do my very best to represent her interests in her absence. I think that I have done a reasonably good job, according to my kids.

And lady, my fan from the T Bar, thanks for the compliment ” you made my day.

Stay tuned, check yer cinch on occasion and I’ll c. ya.


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