Tales from the O-NO Ranch | TheFencePost.com
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Tales from the O-NO Ranch

Mad Jack Hanks
Wellington, Colo.

Gentle readers, it could be that I’m gettin’ carried away with this motorcycle business. It seems to have consumed my life these past couple of months. I’ve gone motorcycle crazy. Let me ‘splain.

I recently traded off the first motorcycle I bought a couple of months ago and now there are two others sittin’ in my garage as I write this.

What’s goin’ on? I’d like to know myself. Three months ago I don’t believe you could have given me a motorcycle ” any motorcycle ” and now I’m nuts over the beast. (No, I won’t be growin’ a pony tail or gettin’ a bunch of tattoos so I can be a biker man.)

I may never be a biker man, but I sure might be a feller that love bikes and rides at every opportunity.

I started out with a nice 750cc custom classic type bike ” purty shiny it was, yessir. After a few weeks of riding and deciding that I really did like motorcycles and the thrill that I got from havin’ bugs bounce off my helmet, I felt as if I needed more power. Yep, like Tim the tool man, I needed more power.

I traded off the 750 cc and bought an 1100cc bike; very similar to the first, just bigger and with more power. Hummmm … boy this is a nice bike and my red-headed girlfriend also liked it, but … I really need more power! When I first went lookin’ at motorcycles, my eyes kept going to a big 1500cc touring bike that had a 6-cylinder Honda car engine for its power source. It was tomato red and creme colored. Nice, nice big bike. I knew at the outset that it was too much bike for me. “I could never handle a bike that big,” I told myself.

It’s sitting in my garage and what a sweet, “goin’ down the road” kind of bike it is. I just happened to have a pair of custom chaps that a feller made for me a few years back that I designed. They are creme color with burgundy trim, and lots of fringe and silver conchos. Ain’t that accommodating now?

Yep, every time I roll one of these bikes out of the garage to be carried away on, ole Howdy, my paint hoss, just smiles ’cause he knows that he won’t be ridden that day.

Well, not always; I did ride a few miles recently with my daughter on the ponies and then came home and threw my leg across my bike and took off.

What’s an old guy like me actin’ like this for? I’ll tell ya ” ’cause it’s fun, that’s why ” it’s just a lot of fun. Now I got two bikes with matchin’ chaps for each one, a red-headed girlfriend and less money in the bank. Remember, it’s like ole Bax has said, “You’ll never see a U-Haul behind a hearse, ’cause ya can’t take it with you!

As a side bar ” when I bought this last hog, one of the guys at the motorcycle place walked over to me as we were gettin’ ready to close our deal and he’s holdin’ a Fence Post, and turns to my column. He looks at me and then at my picture and says, “Yep, it’s him alright. Do you want the title to read Mad Jack Hanks or what?” This little paper just gets around everywhere, don’t it?

Stay tuned, check yer cinch on occasion and I’ll c. ya. By the way … go out and get carried away and have yerself some fun!


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