Tales from the O-NO Ranch | TheFencePost.com
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Tales from the O-NO Ranch

Mad Jack Hanks
Wellington, Colo.

I reckon today was about as ordinary as any day can be ” in my life anyway.

Ordinary days don’t offer up much fodder for column material. These past few days have been fairly ordinary and I guess that’s better than me havin’ to report about gettin’ bucked off or run over while ridin’ my motorcycle. No news is good news, that’s what they say.

I went into the Fort for a morning swim in the cement pond, came home and had some French toast and bacon. It was then down to the prairie dog community to see where I needed to put out more poison.

Hey, that reminds me of a little story: This feller goes to his priest and complains that his wife is trying to poison him. The priest asked how he knows. “I just know,” he replied, “my food is beginning to taste funny and she gives me strange looks and asks me how I’m feeling every day!”

The priest assures the man that he is wrong but will have a talk with his wife anyway. A few days later the priest calls the man on the phone at work and says, “I talked to your wife the other day as promised. I talked to her for over 3 hours. My advice to you is TAKE THE POISON!”

After my little trip down to prairie dog city, I came back to the house convinced that I needed a little nap and that’s not too unusual on the days that I swim. Shortly after I dozed off the phone rang and it was a feller wanting to know about a motorcycle that I have for sale. The paper had a misprint and they were offering the bike about $4,000 dollars less than its already bargain price. I muttered something about there being a misquote on the price and he hung up. Everybody’s lookin’ for bargains these days.

I got up, washed my face and decided to take “Bubba” the big bike into town, check on the mail and fill him up with petrol.

What about these gas prices today, especially here in Colorado? My buddy down in Texas tells me he’s buyin’ gas for a buck-99! I gave $2.69 for regular gas for ole “Bubba”. Methinks that we’re gettin’ the shaft here in the mountain west on gasoline prices.

I did go to a nice affair recently, a pig roast at Chuck and Roni Sylvester’s farm. Ole Chuck is runnin’ for the Governor’s office as a write-in candidate. Trust me, gentle readers, this is the man for the job. Ole Chuck is a “cowboy”, a rancher, a business man and past CEO of the National Western Stock Show in Denver. The man has common sense and a grip on reality.

Well, that was purty much my day and I’ve reported the local news, according to Mad Jack.

I do hope you are havin’ some really nice fall days and I hope your corn crop yielded as expected and the sugar beets do the same. I hope your calves have gained good over the summer in spite of the drought and I hope you haven’t put on those extra unwanted pounds.

Stay tuned, check yer cinch on occasion and I’ll c. ya.


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