Tales from the O-NO Ranch 3-22-10
Sometimes in the afternoon, gentle readers, I will turn on the Dr. Phil television show. I will refer to him in the rest of this column as Dr. Fill. I like Dr. Fill for the most part. He’s from Texas or Oklahoma originally and seems to have that “good ol’ boy common sense” that comes from folks in that part of the country if they have lived there for any length of time.
Putting aside my personal feelings for good ol’ boys and Texas, let me expound on what, if any good, one particular family he has fostered after a long association on his show. About 7 years ago, according to the good Doc, he adopted a family that seemed to be in deep trouble. They had a 14-year-old daughter that was about to give birth and she was unmarried. Her mom and dad seemed to be fighting a lot and her little sister, two years younger, was terribly disappointed in her big sister and the family seemed to be in much need of Dr. Fills country and medical wisdom. I have watched this family come on the show for most of the last 7 years and here’s what I know today.
The 14-year-old had her baby, married her boyfriend who wound up in jail and I think it was because they both were doing drugs. She got pregnant again and has a new boyfriend and he just got out of jail. Oooopps, I forgot to mention she had another kid somewhere along the way. Her little sister just got out of jail on drug charges and the two sisters apparently despise one another at this point. There is more later. Mom and dad have both had affairs outside of the marriage and are trying to decide if they want to remain married to one another. Both sisters claim that mom loves the other sister the most and that seems to be their main issue. Mom has been raising the older girl’s children while her daughter tries to decide which way her young life should go. Should she go back to her first husband who claims to love her or stay with her present boyfriend who is about as worthless as a Wally World shopping cart.
Just recently Dr. Fill sat the sisters down and made them tell each other good memories from the past about their childhood and they both wept and hugged and made up. Well, at least for the moment as they had done this once before. My, my Dr. Fill, I am not so sure I would want to bring any of my troubles to you. This Dr. Fill family is more like one of the cartoon families on Fox like American Dad or one of those stupid (in my view) shows that make all families look like inbreed idiots with no clue as to what families should be all about.
I say put the Dr. Fill family on a horse and let them move some cows through the timber on a beautiful spring day. Let ‘um dig post holes together and take turns watchin’ the first calf heifers in February and spend one day cutting and splitting firewood. Require them to sit on the front porch in the summer evening just before dark and listen to the frogs and the June bugs so tired they almost fall asleep where they sit. Oh, just one more little chore. They need to toss about 400 bales of hay up into the barn’s hayloft. Now, they can go to bed with no guilt feelings and no ill will towards each other. Dr. Fill, let’s go back to our roots now and get a little more country.
Stay tuned, check yer cinch on occasion and I’ll c. ya.
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After hail, flooding, a severe drought and a depressed market — all within months — Mike Kertzman says his days of ranching might be numbered.