Tales from the O-NO Ranch | TheFencePost.com
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Tales from the O-NO Ranch

Mad Jack Hanks
Wellington, Colo.

It appears to me, gentle readers, that we reached the point of being more than merely foolish in our present society. I say that because it seems we have come up with labels for some of the most common problems that are being labeled diseases when a little common sense would take care of the matter.

For example, a lot of little kids are being drugged and sent off to school because of ADD. ADD to me, in way too many cases, is nothing but Attitude Deficit Disorder. A paddle to the backside on occasion just might cure the disease quicker than drugging the kid for the rest of his life. Seems to me that about half of our population is headed to rehab or has already been there and done that. For Pete’s sake, folks, all of us have some sort of problem in dealing with different types of situations, don’t we?

They now have a name for road rage and it’s being called one of the new diseases. I have experienced road rage while movin’ a bunch of bovines down the trail before. There’s always that one ole cow that wants to quit the bunch and run off and usually there’s another dozen or so that wants to join her. Do I have a disease if I color the sky blue while cussin’ a blue streak?

I’m sure someone somewhere that works for the government could come up with a label like ABBB (addictive belligerent bovine behavior). I would need to go to rehab and face my disease head on and try to come out clean of any unhappy feelings I might have when an ole sister takes off and tries to take the herd with her.

I know, I know, there are folks that need to be helped when they start getting out of control. Sometimes they need a drug that will help calm them down for the present and help them to deal with difficult situations. I never have been able to accept the fact that alcoholism is called a disease. I say that because I figure that if you don’t ever take a drink, you just ain’t gonna’ get it! Right? Am I right? You can have heart disease, cancer, liver disease, T.B. and all kinds of diseases and many times there is just no way to prevent them.

All sorts of folks go into rehab for all sorts of problems these days. We seem to think that it’s normal to keep a shrink on retainer just in case we find out that our neighbor just got a promotion, a good pay raise and their son has been accepted to Harvard Law School and we’re still churnin’ up dust and seem to not be makin’ much progress.

My advice is just to not create any more problems than you can handle and live one day at a time, do something nice for someone every day and hug your kids every chance you get. If you need to go to rehab, then for Pete’s sake, GO. Get yourself straightened out, but please don’t fall for a lot of this unnecessary ripping and tearing of one’s clothes if you make a misstep in life.

As for me, I just figure that it’s okay for me to get out of sorts once in a while and throw a hissy fit cause it makes me feel better. I always would want a really good reason to blast off, say like ole Howdy would step on my foot in the frozen corral when it’s 20-below and he would refuse to remove his 1,300 pounds as he’s munchin’ contently on his sweet feed. I might haul off and sock him in the eye or grab his ear and twist it half off to get his attention.

Well neighbor, do your best to stay sober, friendly, drug free and keep a good attitude. It’s healthy to live that way. For our friends down in southeastern Colorado, you have had an extremely difficult time as of late and my heart goes out to you. I know that many of you have lost an awful lot in the way of livestock and whatever else and you have my permission to react any way you wish within the bounds of decency. God bless you, I do hope you guys can recover from this and keep your ranches together and operating.

Stay tuned, check yer cinch on occasion and I’ll c. ya.


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