Tales from the O-NO Ranch | TheFencePost.com
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Tales from the O-NO Ranch

Mad Jack Hanks
Wellington, Colo.

Gentle readers, I learned a new word or “term” as you may this last weekend. Yep, it’s “posers.” I went to see the movie “Wild Hogs” and the movie, if you haven’t seen it, is about four urbanite male dwellers that have Harleys (motorcycles) and get together once a week to ride for charities, for fun or whatever. They decide that the everyday stresses of life have consumed them and they decide to take time away from work and families and take a cross-country trip to the West Coast on their bikes. They decide to throw caution to the wind, not wear their helmets, get new tattoos if necessary and just go “hog wild.” Their main desire is to be like the “one percenters,” or the so-called “outlaw bikers” that go where they please and do as they please and to heck with everybody else. When they run into their heros, the one percenters, they are not well received. Nope … they are called “posers.”

A poser is someone who is trying his or her dead-level best to be something or someone that they can never be in real life. A “poser” is desperate to leave their real idenity behind and pose as someone else ” someone that they really look up to.

By the way, I encourage you to see this movie. I have never “laffed” so hard and so long that I can remember. I ride a bike. I don’t want to be seen as a “poser.” My bike is not a Harley and I wear a helmet when I ride and I also “leather up” unless it’s really hot outside. “Bubba,” my bike is not a “girlie man’s” bike, even if it does have a windshield. It also has a 6-cylinder Honda Civic automobile engine in it and the speedometer registers 145 mph. It’s not a bike for the faint of heart, but still, I’m just a cowboy that enjoys riding iron horses as well as ole Howdy, my cow pony.

Now I’m reminded that we country folks who enjoy rain on the roof and biscuits in the oven have “posers” also, don’t we? Sure we do. We have those folks this way or that way down the road that are posing as “country folks.” I call them the curb-and-gutter set. You know, the ones that need the road paved and a sidewalk to the front door, and while they may have rain on the roof they are settling down to “tofu” for their meal.

Now, I did not say that these are not good folks! I said they are posing as real country folks that think as we do about country living. But what they may seem to be is not always so.

As an example, I’m ridin’ ole Bubba to town the other day to get the mail. I’m crusin’ down a county road at about 60. I’m well aware that usually just up ahead there may be some ewes and lambs grazin’ along the road. I’m also aware that there is a, I think, a young woman in a big dually truck bearing down on me at about 75 mph. I begin to slow down to about 45 as I approach the ewes and lambs on the opposite side of the road and of course, this dim wit behind me flies past me like her butt was on fire. I know in my heart of hearts that if one of the lambs that was jumpin’ and playin’ along the road had jumped out in the road, this gal probably would have just swerved and rum smack over me. A real country person respects loose livestock on the roadside and they also respect old guys on motorcycles or horses or anything else.

Here’s another example, my daughter Sunni and I were out ridin’ the ponies the other day and we’re ridin’ down a paved county road in the ditch. Here comes two big semi trucks and both of the drivers moved to the other side of the road and slowed down to give us the benefit of the doubt. These guys or gals were “pure country” as far as I was concerned as they went out of their way to ensure our safety.

I suppose the world is full of “posers” if you really stop and think about it. I don’t want to be a “poser;” I just want to be the real deal, whatever that may be, don’t you?

Stay tuned and check yer cinch on occasion and I’ll c. ya.

P.S. A feller called me a “writer” the other day. Is that for real or am I JUST POSIN’?


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