Tales from the O-NO Ranch | TheFencePost.com

Tales from the O-NO Ranch

Mad Jack Hanks
Wellington, Colo.

I reckon as a human being it’s okay to be just plain goofy once in a while. I was that way a lot as a teenager and I bet you were too. If not, there was probably something wrong with you. I do, however, hate to find that in livestock. I’ve had some unreliable, goofy horses in my life as a cowboy and I sure hated to have to ride them much at all. Seems you could never keep them focused. I especially hate to have bovines of that description.

I got a call early this morning from one of my neighbors to tell me one of my steers was out on the road in front of the place. I knew which one it was. I had recently stopped in at the local sale barn in an effort to pick up a handful of steers for the summer grazing season. I arrived somewhat late and only got two bought before the sale had ended. One of them was a nice little black steer with a docile way about him and he had a good frame and good bone structure. His running mate was one of those ewe necked, high headed, nervous Don Knotts kind of steer. You know, heck you’ve had one or two of these ole sisters or steers like I’m describing ” you may have one now.

You just look in their direction and that head flies up and starts to shake back and forth and they always have that big clump of unruly hair between their ears. You know, the kind of hair that you find on your evening news sports guy. His hair sticks out in every direction and is sort of spiked like he combed it with a hay rake.

Sure ’nuff, I scramble out of bed, get my clothes on and head down to the corral to get a horse. No horses.

They’re still down in the bottom. I gather up a sorting pole and head out to the road. This ole goofy steer is a hundred yards down the road and he spies me and that head flies up and starts shakin’ back and forth and he’s lookin’ for some place to run.

Well, gentle readers, here comes one of our goofy urbanites flyin’ down the road in her car doin’ about 65 when the ole steer breaks and tires to outrun the car. The lady never slows down and luckily the ole steer has enough sense to hit the ditch and run in the front gate.

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Yes, I got got him gathered up and back with his buddie and I absolutely could not find where he went through the fence.

These goofy cattle, like I have described, when they first see you and get excited and their head goes to shakin’, reminds me of a politician when you ask him what he’s gonna’ do about illegal immigration, high gas prices and the stranger he was caught holding hands with last night in the city park.

I did get my exercise early and was glad that I have neighbors kind enough to let me know when something is amiss here at the O-NO. I trust nothing is amiss on your place. If you have one or more of the above-mentioned livestock, something will be amiss before long.

Stay tuned, check yer cinch on occasion and I’ll c. ya.