Tales from the O-NO Ranch | TheFencePost.com

Tales from the O-NO Ranch

Mad Jack Hanks
Wellington, Colo.

Gentle readers, have you ever just wished that there was someone out there that you could claim as your hero? I have, and for many years it was guys like Roger Staubach or some similar athlete. Those guys and gals can be heroes, but for the most part, they usually wind up being a dissapointment in some fashion or other.

I latched on to what I consider a real life hero that represented all the things that heroes are all about. This guy, Sheriff Joe, is the sheriff of Maricopa County, Ariz. To me, he is John Wayne, George Patton and Brett Favre all rolled up into one big ole hero. Sheriff Joe seems to be a very wise man like the Biblical Solomon, and common sense seems to just be a big, big part of his makeup. For example, sheriff Joe established a tent city in the Arizona desert years ago to relieve crowding in the local jail. Inmates volunteer to live in the tent city and work on chain gangs.

Why in the world would they do that, you query? Well, I’ll tell ya why they would do that since you asked. Sheriff Joe took away their tobacco, girlie magazines, and television ” all except the Disney and Weather channels. He also took away all of their weight equipment. He figured that if they wanted to build muscle, they could build it on a chain gang.

Now, the ACLU has been after sheriff Joe for a long, long time saying that he is treating his prisoners too harshly. Now, that’s no surprise, is it? Sheriff Joe also took over the flailing animal shelter that was costing tax payers over 8 million a year to operate. The animals are paired up with inmates that feed and exercise them every day. They get more personal care, they are healthier, happier and Sheriff Joe has gotten the cost of operation down to about 3 million a year.

Inmates in the tent city wear pink underwear and socks. They are allowed to strip down to their undies when the temps get to a certain level. When the inmates complain about the heat and having to wear pink, Sheriff Joe just reminds that our troops in Iraq are in the same tents in the same hot weather and they usually are in full combat gear and “you don’t hear them complaining! If ya don’t like it here, when ya get out DON’T COME BACK. NOW SHUT THE H… UP!”

That’s my kind of hero. I don’t need some athlete taking steroids, or gambling, or beating up his girlfriend, or entertaining gang members or havin’ bar fights. There really are all kinds of heroes out there every day. You folks that volunteer at the fire department, or the hospital, or the nursing home or Meals on Wheels or anything where you just go out of your way to help someone who really needs help, God bless you all.

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Stay tuned, check yer cinch on occasion and I’ll c. ya.