Tales from the O-NO Ranch | TheFencePost.com

Tales from the O-NO Ranch

Mad Jack Hanks
Wellington, Colo.

Gentle readers, do we like to be bumfuzzled? Whadda ya think? I have been giving considerable thought to this question, and without a doubt, I believe down to the last man, we as a society that likes to be bumfuzzled.

Long ago and far away when I lived in the old country, Texas, there was a common bumper sticker seen on a lot of cars and trucks. It read, “The best little steak house is always in the next town.” Now, come on, isn’t that the way most of us have been bumfuzzled into thinking? Sure it is, and I’m not sure exactly when it started, maybe when Pat Boone started wearin’ those white loafers and white belt to match.

I know my mom thought my dad sure ’nuff ought to have a white belt and white shoes. After one of his brothers-in-law broke down and bought the matchin’ belt and shoes, so did my dad, much to mom’s delight. Mom could be easily bumfuzzled. If she heard about anything coming from anywhere in the world other than New Orleans or Mexico, it had to be special, very special.

How do you think we wind up buyin’ lotion from Sweden? Because some Swedish doctor invented this special lotion. Well, of course, if all the folks in Sweden are blonde-haired, blue eyed, have fabulous figures and no pimples, it must be the lotion we put in our medicine cabinets.

See how easy we are? Chilean fruit, designer clothes from Paris, Paul Bond boots and winter vacations on the coast of Mexico. What’s wrong, pray tell, with a winter vacation on the Texas coast?

I think we are just a society of “wannabees.” We wannabee anything or anybody that we are not! Why is that, I ask? I know rich folks are that way. I once worked for some folks that were worth, according to Forbes Magazine, about 6- to 700-MILLION bucks. They seemed to me, anyway, as needing to measure up to their peers ” you know, those fickle friends of theirs that happen to have been worth 8- to 900-million or more.

We just can’t be happy unless we think that we have discovered some special little out of the way steak house that nobody knows about until we run to tell them all about it. We can’t be comfortable until we have the latest fashions, regardless of where they are made, I might add, or are involved in the latest exercising program or diet, or drinking the latest cool mixture of whatever.

We have been bumfuzzled and we love it. We get to feel not so ordinary when we believe that we have pulled a fast one on everybody else. No so. Nobody has pulled a fast one; we have just been conditioned to believe that we were one of the first and that puts us far above the crowd.

Bumfuzzled, that’s what we are. Why in the world would anyone go on “Deal or No Deal” and show just how greedy and foolish they can behave in front of millions and millions of folks? They think that is exactly what is expected of them, right? Yep, being bumfuzzled, that’s what it’s all about.

Stay tuned, check yer cinch on occasion, and I’ll c. ya.