Tales from the O-NO Ranch | TheFencePost.com
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Tales from the O-NO Ranch

by Mad Jack Hanks
Wellington, Colo.

Okay, okay, I admit it, I was wrong. Spring IS NOT goin’ to come early this year. In fact, by the time you read this column it will only be a couple of days until spring officially starts. I have been flappin’ my jaw for a number of weeks now, tellin’ y’all how we were goin’ to have that early spring. Maybe it was just wishful thinking. One would think, however, that a person as astute as myself could be right just once in awhile, even if it’s once in a great while! I took in a good many factors to consider when I made my bold prediction that spring would come early.

I watched the mountains and the type of clouds that formed at various times. Yeah, like I’m some sort of expert on clouds that form over the mountains. I considered the few birds that began to appear. I watched the pair of bald eagles down in the cottonwood in the creek and they just seemed to shout, “Spring is here; let’s hunt!” Yeah, like I’m some sort of expert on bald eagles.

There were many other factors like the ponies beginning to look really ragged. Horses always look their worst just as spring begins to arrive. I’m not a horse expert, I reckon that I’m not an expert on anything, and that includes women, horses, bald eagles, and clouds over the mountains.

When I went out to feed the ponies this morning it was 19 degrees and ’twas cloudy and windy. Yes, it ’twas. That told me right then and there that I had made a mistake by gettin’ all y’all’s hopes up about havin’ an early spring.

If you remember, I predicted that we wouldhave old Osama Bin Hiddin’ in our custody or blown to smithereens five years ago.

Would ya like to know who the next president is gonna be? Me, too. I would like to know that myself. What say we do this? I will make a prediction and all y’all will know that I will be wrong, of course, so we will have a better chance of knowin’ who in fact it will be. I predict Hillary will be our next president. It just has to be.

Here’s how I figure: Obama seems to have no substance when pressed on most issues, and Hillary has Willie and the gang to back her up. J. Mac (John McCain) is gettin’ a little long in the tooth, seems to be more liberal than most repubs, and will keep us at war for a long, long time. That’s just what old Mad Jack thinks.

We all want a better world. I wish to God I could predict just how we get there from here. i could, but I would more than likely be wrong.

Stay tuned, check yer cinch on occasion, and I’ll c. ya.


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