Tales from the O-NO Ranch: The victim | TheFencePost.com

Tales from the O-NO Ranch: The victim

by “Mad” Jack Hanks

Wellington, Colo.

Poor little Johnny Walker. This boy has got himself a mess of trouble. Little Johnny is the American Taliban who got caught with his pants down armed with an automatic weapon while fighting against his countrymen. Now his mommy and daddy have told us that, heck, he’s just a kid. He’s a good kid. He just got confused when he got his new religion and wasn’t aware that Americans were ticked off over his newfound brothers knockin’ down the twin towers and killing over 3,000 innocent Americans. He did make a remark when captured that he was pleased with, and supported, that terrible act of war. But, let’s not get too hasty.

After all, he is one of our own homegrown kids that happened to have a couple of permissive fruitcakes for parents. PLEASEEE!

Then there is that sweet little mom down in Houston that carefully and willfully drowned all five of her children. After she chased the last one down, subdued him and drowned him kickin’ and screamin’ in the bath tub, she calmly called the police and then called her husband at work and ask him to come home as she had HURT the children. Wow, that’s a hurt I want to put off as long as possible cause it’s one of those you just don’t get over.

Her lawyer says she’s crazy. Who ever said lawyers weren’t truthful? Of course she’s crazy! Nobody in their right mind kills all of their children and then calls their husband for a little moral support.

But children, don’t ya see? She was sufferin’ from trauma from havin’ too many babies too often and not being able to cope with the mothering experience.

Incidentally, it was said earlier that she had tried to kill herself before because she was depressed when she only had two or three kids. So what does she and her intelligent and wonderful husband do? They crank out more babies.

Now, she wants to be considered a victim. She wants us to treat her illness, make her well again and then we can all get on with life! Yep, we CAN all get on with life, but there are five little, wonderful, playful kids that CAN’T!

We’ve all been victims on occasion in our lives. I have been victimized by bad hosses, wild cows, poorly hung gates, stupid dogs and old squeeze chutes, but I never abused anybody because I just wasn’t up to par on any given day because I had had a wreck. I never took up arms against my country, never drowned any of my kids and never complained about my victim hood. My, my, my, how times have changed.

The Enron folks were sure ’nuff victims because they were not dealt with honestly by their company. On the other hand, have you ever heard the term, DIVERSIFY, DIVERSIFY, DIVERSIFY? Put another way: DON’T PUT ALL OF YER COTTON PICKIN’ EGGS IN ONE BASKET!

Unfortunately, there is always some group out there that is ready to embrace you when you cry victim. I sincerely believe that it is one of the greatest ills in our society and we need to take some serious steps to correct it before it devours us. If and when it does, we will all be victims.

Let’s you and me make us a little pact right now not to walk through life without shoulderin’ the blame for every stupid thing that we may do in the future, okay? OK! Stay tuned and check yer cinch on occasion! C. ya.


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