Things that are hard to explain | TheFencePost.com

Things that are hard to explain

Ellen Campbell
Central City, Neb.

I was standing by the kitchen sink washing dishes. Suddenly I burst into song. What was the song? It was the old World War II tune that goes like this:

“There’s something about a soldier, There’s something about a soldier,

There’s something about a soldier that is fine, fine, fine.

There’s something about his bearing, There’s something in what he’s wearing,

There’s something about his buttons that they shine, shine, shine.”

Now why is it I remember that obscure bit of music when the last time I heard it was probably in the 1940s? And yet I can’t think of a word I want to use in conversation when it has been in my vocabulary forever?

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There are lots of things you have to wonder about. Like, why is Brett Favre’s name pronounced “Farv” when the “v” comes before the “r”?

For that matter, why do all the sports announcers, etc. persist in pronouncing Tom Osborne’s name with a long “o” (like Bourne) when he himself pronounces it “burn”? I happen to be familiar with his family from way back when he was a kid, and they all pronounced it “burn.”

I’ve also wondered about people naming their dogs Bear. Why would they choose the name of a different species of animal? It wouldn’t seem so strange if only one person had ever done that. But lots of people have named their dogs Bear. It has become more common than Fido or Rover.

You don’t hear of any cats named Cow or gerbils named Wolf.

And would someone explain to me why we’ve had to watch basketball players in those sloppy pants for so many years? Can’t we please get back to classic nice-fitting shorts?

Then there are all those people (mostly men) who never wash bottles, but refer to themselves as “chief cook and bottle washer” when they have short-term cooking responsibilities.

Here’s another thing. Why do people spend money on bottled tea when it’s so cheap and easy to make from scratch?

And what’s with the power all wicked stepmothers have in the fairy tales? Doesn’t the father of the child ever intervene?

And, finally, why is it that when there’s a room full of people, the friendly family feline jumps up onto the lap of the only person who hates cats?