— “As long as you’ve got good elimination, you’ve got it made.” Uncle Leonard

— “If a man can’t drive in a bar ditch, he’s got no business on the highway.” Tink

— “When asked how she got to be president, Anita replied, ‘I missed the meeting’.”

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— “You can’t use too much tape.” Dr. Allen

— Tom Hall says, “I enjoy all company. Some when they arrive, some when they leave.”

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— “A true friend will tell you if yer hat’s on backwards.” Calvin

— “I’d rather be at the head of the ditch with a shovel than at the bottom with a decree.” Tom on irrigation rights

— “If they won’t come, you can’t stop’em.” Jim B.

— “He’s stooping to new heights.” Sandy

— “His eyes are so squinty they could blindfold him with dental floss.” Buck

— “They teach chickens to lay eggs by walkin’ back n’ forth in front of them with a hatchet humming, ‘Um, um, good, um, um, good…'” Doug

— “The right to be heard does not include the right to be taken seriously.” Hubert H.

— “If you wanna put out a fire, start yer own!” Hoot

— “Cowboys walk in parts.” Peter

— “You have to know Mr. Dewey well in order to dislike him.” Margaret T.

— “Bank examiners come in after the battle and shoot the wounded.” Boyd

— “Horse shoein’s not so hard. It’s just the dread of doing it.” Carl

— “His sleeping bag smelled like they drove geese into it and beat them to death.” Oly K.

— “You are what you eat”… but I say, “You are where you walk.”

— “It’s been a month of Mondays!” Sheryl

— “I don’t deserve this award, but I’ve got sinus and I don’t deserve it either.” Ace R.

— “Sometimes you have no choice, so take it!”

— On fund-raising, “Don’t put all your hands in one pocket.”

— “If yer smart you’ll always believe in Santa Claus.” Judy

— “Sure you can sell out when things are good. But then what will you do?” John

— “Of course your waffle is tough, you ate the potholder.”