Black: Alternative dining and new age spa |

Black: Alternative dining and new age spa

Come to Alternative Dining and New Age Spa

We serve the only fern kabob in town

If your spirit is depressed and your body needs a rest

We guarantee to turn your life around.

Your double chin will soon be doing chin ups

When you taste our own Bermuda grass surprise

Your diet will consist of rose hips, knees and wrists

And soup concocted from potato eyes

Remember T-bone steaks with all the trimmings

And spare ribs smoking in the open air

In ADNAS cooking class they’re visions in your past.

Do you prefer your oatmeal done or rare?

Our imitation, atomized club sandwich

Is enriched with mold from 30-day old cheese

We feed you with a trowel and commune au natural

While soaking you in mayonnaise and peas

We serve organic tea, unsweetened saccharine,

Crackers made from tadpole dingalings,

Decaffeinated beets and artificial meats

And season them with young grasshopper wings.

Forget your basic food nutrition courses

That stress a balanced diet like we learned

We’ll fill you up with pills, give herbs to cure your ills

And rub you down with scum from butter churns

At ADNAS spa we have a rule to live by

That gives you help to eat the things you should

If you order dining out, whenever you’re in doubt

Just beware of any food that tastes good. ❖