Hanks: Endangered Species
Are there still remaining endangered species, you might ask? So glad ya did ‘cause I can think of a few off of the top of my head. Hummmm, let’s see, well, there are those conservative folks that at times would like to voice their opinion on certain political issues at some liberal arts colleges.
In many cases they are not allowed or shouted down as their speech is called “hate speech.” Then we have a few politicians that want to “cut the crap” and get down to business and make our country great again, but they are usually pushed aside by the alligators in the swamp.
Did you know that Washington D. C. was actually built on a swamp? Check it out. We may all be endangered one of these days when the robots take over every aspect of our lives. No kiddin’!
Gentle readers, many years ago when the spotted owl was the headline in the news I threw together a little poem I called “Endangered Species.” I’m sure I have published it here before in The Fence Post but would like to do it again with your permission. Here goes ….
To the judges question, the cowboy replied,
“yer honor, if I hadn’t et that old spotted owl,
I surely would have died!”
Ya see, my ol’ pony got spooked and acted the fool,
he proceeded to buck me off and then runs off with my mule.
For three days I wandered in the woods deep and dark.
the first day I ate grass, the second ants and the third tree bark.
I looked up to pray as my stomach did growl,
then I seen it, that ol’ spotted owl.
God does answer prayers as I snatched that ol’ bird real quick.
I et everything but the feathers then my fingers did I lick!
I was purt near proud of this thing I had done
until up stepped a warden with his big ol’ gun.
“Ah ha, I see you’ve et an endangered species,
I can tell from yer mess.
That ought to be worth ‘bout 20 years in the big house,
would be my guess.”
“so yer honor, have mercy on a poor ol’ cowboy’s hide,
if I hadn’t et that ol’ bird I’da surely died!”
The judge wiped a tear from the side of his face,
“Yer free to go cowboy, I’m dismissing yer case!”
The cowboy reached for his hat to leave in great haste
when the judge suddenly asked, “how does a spotted owl taste?”
“Well, yer honor, they is just sorta’ plain,
they ain’t quit as good as a bald eagle but they ‘re a little
better than a whoopin’ crane!!!”
Oh I can hear the grinding of teeth through clinched jaws from the P.E.T.A. folks, but hey, it’s funny right?
Relax, live a little, have some frog legs and possum stew, it’s really good if you have a go at it!
Stay tuned, check yer cinch on occasion, “laff” at every opportunity you’ll live longer. I’ll c. y’all, all y’all.
As a side bar the 2018 “Hoot” calendars have arrived early. It’s $10 for the first one, every one after that is $9.
That’s signed, postage paid and send check or money order, sorry no plastic, to Jack Hanks, P.O. box 825, Wellington, CO 80549. You can also email me firstname.lastname@example.org or call (970) 568-3974. THANKS!!❖
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