Hanks: This thing about prairie dogs | TheFencePost.com

Hanks: This thing about prairie dogs

Gentle readers, please note the “MAD” in Mad Jack Hanks in this column. As a general rule I am a “live, let live” sort of feller.

Not so when it comes to prairie dogs on my place. I reckon I am really gettin’ to be that cranky old man that lives out yonder.

You know the one that sits on the front porch on a warm day and waves at passing traffic while flying old glory. Looks can be deceiving at times, trust me.

If I thought you were going on down the road and jump out and unload some of those darlin’ little “barking cuties” we call prairie dogs, I might just come unhinged. Yep, Your life might be in some sort of danger.

“I’ve never met a rancher that said, ‘oh, you can bring them out to my place. I have lots of room and I’d love the grand kids to see them firsthand!”

I’m watchin’ the “telly” yesterday and this feller is expounding on the value of prairie dogs to our ecosystem. Always the local or national news here in Colorado will almost get teary eyed when these pests are “taken care of” by some developer who has paid millions of dollars for a piece of property to develop that has these colonies of dogs.

Tell ya what … you city folks that salivate when you see these cute little buggers, just get you a sack and when they are sucked up out of the ground, you ask for a half dozen to put in your back yard! That’ll fix ya, I guarantee it.

Especially when they get the “plague” and give it to “Frosty” your little yappin’ dog and “Francis” your cat and then maybe your own children will wind up with it as well. How do ya like them apples? Pretty harsh you say. I would say you are right.

I just spent $450 to get rid of 303 burrows that temporarily destroyed a good part of my pasture. It will grow back but it will, of course, take time. I don’t have time to put up with these disease-infested vermin that poop on their own door step and eat one another on occasion when one dies.

I’ve never met a rancher that said, “oh, you can bring’em out to my place. I have lots of room and I’d love for my grand kids to see them firsthand!”

Besides providing homes for “rattlers” and eating every blade of grass on the place if given the chance, I would love to share what I have with them if it will make you happy. I’ll leave ya with this: I’ve had them off and on (when they didn’t die off from the plague) for 23 years and I’ve HAD IT WITH THEM! If you think they need more than the 500,000 ACRES of prairie here in eastern Colorado, according to Colorado Parks and Wildlife, that they presently occupy, then sack’um up and PUT’EM IN YER OWN BACK YARD!

Stay tuned, check yer cinch on occasion and remember what Will Rogers once said, “what this country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds.” I’ll c. y’all, all y’all and by the way moms, I do hope you had a very SPECIAL MOTHER’S DAY. Adios. 

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Mad Jack Hanks

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