Hanks: Updates

Jack Hanks

Gentle readers, if you are anything like me, you don’t always want your computer UPDATED! I just received a notice that a certain part of my email was going to be updated.

Did I want to go ahead or wait a while? I choe to wait a while, a long while if possible. It seems like every time they update some part or a whole part of one of my programs, I can get lost real quick.

I get used to doing certain things a certain way that I am familiar with and all of a sudden my familiar parts just ain’t there any more. Frustrating to say the least.

Do you get those calls from Charles over in the far east somewhere and he wants to FIX WINDOWS for you? Here’s the deal.

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Maybe it’s just old guys like myself that they pick on. They figure we can’t remember what we had for breakfast so we are a perfect mark.

Do you remember what you had for breakfast? I can’t always tell ya what I had for lunch if I just put away the lunch meat and mayo.

I don’t let Charles know that. No sir, not for a minute.


See, I’m always polite. I must be as Charles always remembers to call every now and then.

How about those updates that all of our newer vehicles are getting? Wow! Is that why there is a new recall almost every month for this pickup or this car.

Ya know, if someone was to call and say, “Jack, we can update yer face and yer wallet in short order and it’s free. Would you like to update now or wait awhile?” I would go for the NOW part of that.

I remember that movie where Dustin Hoffman (The Graduate) was being advised by his soon to be father-in-law to invest in plastics.

That was a long, long time ago and I remember thinking that “man, if I had any money at all, I would put it in plastic futures!”

My new tractor is made out of plastic. So is your pickup and your car. I had at one time a 1956 Buick Roadmaster. Man, what a tank. Of course gasoline was only around 34 cents a gallon but everything is relevant right?

That car in prime condition today would cost you a fortune. They were stylish, dependable, comfortable cars with lots of leg room front and back.

Today, if you want to put someone in the back seat of your car they had not better be over 4-feet-3-inches tall or their knees will be up under their chin. That was a real super update some engineer came up with right?

Of course, how can we not be pleased to have our smart phones and iPads that most of YOU depend on?

Aspirin sales are on the rise I hear as more folks complain of headaches and stiff necks and warts on their thumbs. I know, I know I am being a little cynical here but I ain’t kiddin’, I think we are headed for a place in the future that we are just not that comfortable with.

Like, it’s needing that ol’ Buick Roadmaster back in the garage. I reckon it’s all what ya get used to. The way a man (woman) thinks so will they travel. That’s in the Bible or maybe the old Chinese wise man, Confuse-us, laid that on us. I just don’t remember. If you will remember, I can’t remember what I had for lunch as I’m putting away the lunch meat and mayo.

By the way, how about those Chinese that we have been so willing to give all our money to and buy all their crap for all these years?

Just sayin … I, for one am ready for an UPDATE on America and how its place in the world needs to have more respect and not be giving its blood and treasure for every cause that we receive NOTHING in return for.

I am going to try and update myself on a lot of things I need to be aware of and contribute to before too much more of my time runs out. You guys have always helped me with your encouraging words and kind comments and I salute you!

Stay tuned, check yer cinch on occasion, don’t give in to every update that comes your way and I’ll c. y’all, all y’all.❖