In a Sow’s Ear: The annual horse drive
Each year, proceeds from the annual horse drive event in Gardiner, Mont., benefits a worthy cause. This year the drive will allocate the money to buy chairs for wounded and disabled military men and women. In case you’re not familiar with the horse drive, it involves 100 or more loose horses driven up the trail to Hell’s a Roarin’ guest ranch. People can follow the drive in their cars and take pictures as cowboys keep the herd moving up the trail. At the camp, the horses are corralled, fed and watered. So, too, are the people — fed and watered (but not in a corral).
Humans browse a smorgasbord, fill their plates and go outdoors. Some sit on the grassy slope, but there are folding chairs set up in front of an open-sided pavilion. While the crowd ingests their vittles, two cowboy poets recite poems. For the past three years, it’s been my privilege to be one of the poets. Here’s my attempt to put the horse drive experience in verse form.
MONTANA HORSE DRIVE
(Tune: Jack O’ Diamonds — same as Rye Whiskey).
“Humans browse a smorgasbord, fill their plates and go outdoors. Some sit on the grassy slope, but there are folding chairs set up in front of an open-sided pavilion.”
Oh, the Horse Drive, the Horse Drive
Oh, I know you so well
Where cowboys trail horses
Up the mountain pell mell
Refrain…
The Horse Drive, the Horse Drive,
The Horse Drive I cry
I’m goin’ to Montana
To see the Horse Drive
The Drive starts in Gardiner
That old western town
The horses are restless
At the rodeo grounds
Soon comes the signal
That will open the pens
While tourists take photos
With high-speed zoom lens
Refrain…
The horses surge forth and
They’re glad to be gone
In wild west tradition,
They thunder along
Hooves sound a drumbeat
On Gardiner-town streets
And folks on the sidewalks
Clap hands to the beat
Refrain
Nine miles up the mountain
To Hell Roarin’ camp
No matter the weather
Cold, hot or plumb damp
I follow along
In my old pickup truck
Put it in four wheel
And trust to my luck
Refrain…
I chow down on vittles
As poets recite
Wild western verse
The kind that I like
Then comes an auction
And I bid on a prize
And hope that my checkbook
Will cover the price
Refrain
And next year again
Under Montana sky
I’ll head up to Gardiner
For another horse drive
Refrain
The Horse Drive, the Horse Drive,
The Horse Drive I cry
I’m goin’ to Montana
To see the Horse Drive ❖
‘The road to Kyrgyzstan’
I am not going to rant about anything this week and instead I am going to tell you a story.
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