Mad Jack Hanks: Tales From The O-NO Ranch 3-11-13 |

Mad Jack Hanks: Tales From The O-NO Ranch 3-11-13

Kenneth was a neighbor of mine. He and his wife owned and operated the local furniture store and had done quite well, thank you. As many successful businessmen do, Kenneth got in the cattle business. Not only did he get in the cattle business he went out to Arizona to one of John Wayne’s bull sales and bought a few bulls off of the “Duke.”

Ol’ Kenneth is a wonderful, honest and decent man but he had only one flaw that I can recall. He couldn’t stand the sight of blood. Kenneth calls one day, “Jack, could you come up here and give one of my bulls a shot. He’s down out in the pasture and I am afraid that if I give him the shot and he bleeds I might pass out. You know how me and blood get along?”

“Sure, I’ll be right up,” I assured my good neighbor.

When I arrived Kenneth had a disposable syringe all loaded and ready to go so we jumped in his pickup and drove down to where this long yearling Hereford bull that used to belong to John Wayne lay. He was propped up on his front legs but looked somewhat out of sorts. “Kenneth, If I can get him up should we try and take him to the squeeze chute and doctor him up good?” I offered.

“I don’t think he can get up Jack, that’s why I had you come up here to doctor him for me.”

I squatted down beside this ol’ bull, rubbed his hip a little and jabbed him with the syringe. Well, gentle readers, that’s when he decided he would just get up and escape, syringe and all. I didn’t even have time to administer the meds, I just jumped up and tried to bull dog him before he got completely on his feet. In an effort to toss me aside, one of his large but tipped horns scraped my chest, ripped my shirt and peeled enough hide off my collar bone to make a holster for a large pistol. I might have embellished that just a tad. However, he did open me up enough that the blood began to run down my chest area.

Well, ya know what happened next … Kenneth in the process of trying to hold the syringe in the bull saw my bloody shirt and passed out faster than a pilot light in a hot water heater sitting outside in Chug Water, Wyo., in a windstorm.

The bull tosses me aside, gains his feet and heads to the barn. Before Kenneth comes back into my world, I wiped as much blood off of me with my shirt and if I remember correctly, I tossed the shirt in the back of his truck. Kenneth does come around rather quickly and we were able to pen the bull that John Wayne used to own and doctor him without much effort. He wasn’t quite as sick as Kenneth suspected. In fact, if that ole bull was as tough as the “Duke,” you could have shot him three or four times and he’d be ready to service the cows the next day. Well, maybe not.

Kenneth is still on his ranch and still in the cattle business, but I believe the last time we visited he was running Holsteins steers. I’m not sure the “Duke” would approve of that, but then again … quien sabe?

Stay tuned, check yer cinch on occasion and I’ll c y’all, all y’all. Remember to stand tall! ❖

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Mad Jack Hanks

What’s new with you?


Well now, here’s what’s new with me right off the bat. I’ll go in to have this metal taken out of my leg that was placed there when I got bucked off two years ago.…

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