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Getting older

Mad Jack Hanks
Tales from the ONO Ranch, Wellington, Colo.

Ya see, gentle readers, it was this a way: Years ago whenever I came across a senior who was bent forward and shuffling along, I thought to myself, “self, we ain’t gonna’ be like that old man going there.” Yep, that’s purty much what I thought. HA HA! Well, here I is and to my satisfaction, at 80, I’m not bent forward and don’t shuffle as much as I thought I would. I will tell you this (if you don’t know it already), you need to pick up your feet and MOVE OUT! In the mornings when I first get out of bed, yep, I do take those Tim Conway (Carol Burnett Show) little steps until I feel as if I am stable. It doesn’t help that both of my ankles have been badly broken in the past and do create issues for me. I manage to get where I am going and always get done what I have to do. I want it to stay that way for a long, long time. I manage to stand straight and tall, step out when I am in public for I don’t want that little kid that’s lookin’ me over to think, if he sees me creepin’ along, “I don’t want to be like that old grandpa”.

Now it really helps a bunch when I have to go to Wally World or our little market as I usually have the shopping cart to hang onto and that goes a long way in how steady I am. I still have double vision in one eye and of course, that makes walking a straight line almost impossible unless I have that cart to depend on. I have no trouble driving until I come to an intersection and have to look to my right or maybe a little behind me, and everything doubles up on me. “WELL GO GET YER EYE FIXED STUPID!” I know what you are thinking. I have been to the eye doc so many times and I still have double vision and suppose I will always have it. I have dealt with it for almost two years now.

Getting older requires most of us old folks to need a little more rest. It’s much easier to take a nap now. All I have to do is sit down and close my eyes and SHAZAMMMM! I’m off to never, never land for a short while. I am sort of a heavy sleeper and I didn’t used to be. In the past any little noise would wake me up to investigate.



Sometimes I have a little trouble getting my shirt or my coat on across my back and I haven’t figured out why that’s so hard these days.

In the cafe just this week I was getting ready to leave and tried to get my coat on. It wasn’t happening as it wadded up on my back.



Ole Garry jumped up to help me as folks were wondering if I was about to perform a magic trick. “Here Jack, let me help you,”

Garry kindly offered. “No, no thanks Garry. If you help me that means I have become helpless,” I quickly quipped. He sat back down and I struggled until I had my coat on. Embarrassing I tell ya, it’s embarrassing sometimes to wear the “geezer” label.

All l know is if you are not there yet you will be if you live long enough and we all want to live long enough. I will tell ya it’s plumb funny to just observe our crew over coffee as we tend to repeat ourselves over and over and over. Truth is, we pert near enjoy that time, I know I do. There most likely will come the time when I can’t participate and I dread that time for sure.

As for now, I have a pickup load of hay to unload and the bales are good and heavy. I will have to carry them a distance and then stack them in the hay room at the corrals. I always do what I set out to do. I told ya so.

Stay tuned, check yer cinch on occasion and according to the late Will Rogers, “too many folks spend money they haven’t earned to buy stuff they don’t want to impress folks they don’t like! I’ll c. y’all, all y’all.


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Mad Jack Hanks

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