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Hold up there pilgrim

Tales from the ONO Ranch
Mad Jack Hanks
WEllington, Colo.

“Just a minute now pard. Just hold up there a minute pilgrim. You’re trying to tell us not to touch our face! So how is a feller ‘sposed to put in or take out his false teeth, or wash his face or shave or how is a lady gonna’ put her face on if she can’t touch it? Just askin’! How would ya brush yer teeth or put eyedrops in yer eyes? Hummmm? And like Milo’s buddy that couldn’t pick his nose. Heck, to stop pickin’ yer nose to some country boys would be as bad as quittin’ the Copenhagen. Just sayin…!“

Gentle readers, of course we are all for getting this crap behind us as soon as possible. I do wash my hands more often and the girls at the market chided me for wearing a mask instead of a “bandanna.” They wanted me to look more like the outlaw some folks think I am! I have to believe, or at least want to believe that we may be getting on the back side of this. Remember, this was written April 12 so I am speculating with a great deal of hope. I tell ya this, I know a good many nurses and my heart goes out to them as they have been in a stampede for weeks now and are still “cowboyin’ up” until the job is done. “God bless you guys!”

I read the other day that in 2030 or there about, electrical cars etc. will have completely changed our way of life. According to them, heck, you just order a car, it’s totally self contained with no driver and it will arrive at your home or whatever, pick you up and deliver you to your destination. Nope, don’t need service stations, or mechanics. If the engine goes bad after 40 million miles, you just pull up to a service center where they jerk that motor out and put in a new one and off you go. And of course all of these windmills and solar panels are gonna’ be able to produce ALL THE POWER we need!! HOLD UP THERE PILGRIM! I’m thinking NOT! And by the way… what are we gonna’ do with all these hundreds of millions of batteries, windmill towers and used up solar panels when they are of no use anymore and have to be replaced? Oh, I know, silly me, we dump them in the ocean along with our plastic straws, right?

So here you go on a family vacation and after 100-150 miles you stop to recharge for four hours. Heck you might have to wait your turn to get hooked up. Those semi long haulers could take 20 or so hours to recharge. Now our food is almost spoiled, the lumber has warped, the beers hot etc. You got it pard? Me thinks we need to go get our foot doctored after shooting ourself? Hummmmm? Okay, that’s it. I’m done. I’ll sit and wait for as long as I need to see how it all begins to shape up. Oh and by the way… I am so tired of turning on the “telly” and havin’ some nitwit tell me how to do this or do that just to make it through the day. Grrrrrrrrr!!


“Pull quote.”

Stay tuned, check yer cinch on occasion and remember, honesty is the best policy and insanity is the best defense, and I’ll c. y’all, all y’all. ❖




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