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Some kind of Monday

Tales from the ONO Ranch
Mad Jack Hanks
Wellington, Colo.

Monday was cold and had snowed, and I was headed into Fort Collins, Colo., for, of all things, jury duty.

I didn’t feel well as I had had an ongoing cough and runny nose for weeks on end. I had been to the doctor twice and sort of had it under control, but it was getting the best of me.

I was hoping I could convince the judge to let me come back at another time. I wanted to do my duty as a good citizen.

Finally I got to approach the bench and explain to the judge why I would be a burden rather than an asset.

“For the next hour, 18 of us sat for questioning by the lawyers from both sides of the issue. I coughed as much as I could and finally I was excused to go home.”

“Your honor, I have had this cough and cold for over five weeks and I would rather come back at some later date when I felt better. I think I will wind up disturbing the proceedings.”

“So that’s what you think?” she offered. “Yes ma’am, that’s what I think but you are the judge and that’s your decision,” I countered. She smiled and replied, “you are right, I am the judge. Take your seat and we’ll see how it goes.” I did.

Guess who was the first person that was called to sit in the jury box for questioning? Yep, it was I. I slowly got up and quipped, “you’ll be sorry!”

A voice behind me blurted, “way to go Jack.” That started some “laffin” in the court room. For the next hour, 18 of us sat for questioning by the lawyers from both sides of the issue.

I coughed as much as I could and finally I was excused to go home.

There is no place to park close to the Justice Center where jury duty was and with two tender ankles I didn’t want to walk two or three blocks on concrete to get there. I finally decided to use the parking garage across the street from the center. I don’t care for pickups and three-story parking garages as I have had issues in the past, but yet I whipped in there and noticed a blue box with a sign, “PAY HERE.” Common sense told me to wait until I left to pay. How would one know how much to pay when the first hour was free and it was $1 an hour after that.

I parked my truck and went to jury duty. When I returned I found not one but two citations totaling $100!!.

I was furious and yet I didn’t feel good and not wanting to drive around until I found the place where you contested the tickets I headed to the see the doctor again.

After the usual check in they took X-rays and discovered I had pneumonia and most likely had had it a couple of weeks. Off to the pharmacy and then home to call the “ticket folks” for a butt chewin’. They were not impressed.

I wrote out the check, attached a letter to the city of Fort Collins (run by donkeys) and explained my situation and my anger over the ridiculous fines. I’m waiting.

Stay tuned, check yer cinch on occasion, for sure keep yer powder dry and a sharp eye! I’ll c. y’all, all y’all. ❖


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Mad Jack Hanks

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