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The way we dress

Tales from the ONO Ranch
Mad Jack Hanks
Wellington, Colo.

Did you ever wonder why some folks — maybe even you — dress the way we do and how come?

I was just watching the market report on RFD T.V. and they were consulting a feller from the floor of the Chicago Exchange. Now that feller was dressed in the most odd way. The lapels on his coat looked like fender skirts on a ’49 Ford!

Where did this all start? Allow me to bring up a few examples as we get off into the weeds here. There was that Liberace guy who played the piano and boy howdy was he “shiny!” A long coat with tails and sparkles and whatever and yes he was different to say the least. It worked for him.

Ol’ Porter Waggoner, good ol’ Porter. He was another one that could never get lost as you could spot him a mile away on the darkest night and that costume served him well.

There was that one feller with the huge black mustache and big glasses that gave movie reviews. Then there was Elton John? The English chap with the big glasses and wild clothes who also was a piano player and singer.


Who could forget the kid that did the “moon walk” and tried to change the color of his skin? Michael something or other. I ain’t kiddin’, I did forget. Doesn’t matter; there were others to take his place. The rappers who took on the “gansta” look and too many of them were that, just gangsters.

We can’t leave out the preachers and evangelist. Many years ago in the ’60s we had a feller named “Angel M.” come to our church. He was so bright with his loud coats you hardly got his message.

He tried to seduce our piano player. I reckon he thought she would be easy pickings but she found an opportunity to believe she must be quite attractive or he wouldn’t have hit on her. She told on him and he was asked to leave post haste!

Some of these preachers I see on the “telly” lead me to believe that they are in need of a lot of attention.

I guess the way you dress is one way to get to where you want to go. Casey Tibbs was the first “flashy” dresser when it came to rodeo. It worked for him plus the fact he was a heck of a bronc rider.

Most cowboys, be they rodeo cowboys are ranch cowboys are fairly conservative in their dress. They may wear their hair long or grow a big beard but the cowboy is still there and will conduct himself as a “cowboy” on all occasions. There must be exceptions but I don’t know of any at present.

Myself, I like a wild colored “wild rag” on occasion. It just makes me feel spruced up a bit. As for me, just give me George Strait, Gary Cooper, The Duke, or any ranch family come to town for the rodeo!

Truth is, I enjoy seeing some of these “over the top” dressers as they can break up a dull day. It doesn’t matter how one dresses I suppose, it’s what’s inside that tells who you are.

The half time show at the Super Bowl was a strong indication of where this country is headed. SHAME ON YOU J. LO! and that other character with you.

Stay tuned, check yer cinch on occasion, dress according to how you feel and what you want to represent, someone will be sure to let you know how they feel, maybe? I’ll c. y’all, all y’all. ❖




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