What now brown cow? | TheFencePost.com

What now brown cow?

Tales from the ONO RAnch
Mad Jack Hanks
WEllington, Colo.

Gentle readers, before I start this column I need to make a correction. In a recent column I noted that North Dakota has begun to put the phrase, “In God We Trust” in some of its schools. Peggy Sanders corrected me that it is actually her home state of South Dakota. With that out of the way, I begin.

I remember as a lad my mom using “How now brown cow?” when she wanted a certain confession or explanation from me or my brother. As I think about that I wonder how in the world did this country get so bent out of shape? I never ever thought that I would see Americans with such a dislike for one another over issues that one would think we could resolve with some common sense. I’m beginning to think that one side doesn’t understand exactly what common sense is. I just watched the governor of Philadelphia rant about how we have to keep guns out of the hands of criminals. HEY STUPID … YOU WILL NEVER KEEP GUNS OUT OF THE HANDS OF CRIMINALS.

That’s why they are criminals. Some times, gentle readers I just want to run outside, grab a handful of dirt and scream,

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?. Wouldn’t do any good because I am the one that is deplorable, stupid and irredeemable and without hope unless they can do my thinking for me. I’ll tell ya what’s good! It’s being on the back of a horse up in the dark timber prowling for cows and filling your lungs with that fragrant mountain air and listening to the rustle of Aspen leaves.

“How now brown cow?” would never cross your mind in that situation. For the love of God where do we go from here?

I see on One American News (my new favorite news network) that illegal immigration has cost us over $70 BILLION so far and Mr. Trump can’t get $5 billion to build his border wall. “How now brown cow?”

I was in the dentist office yesterday and of all the magazines I chose to browse was Esquire. It used to be a decent man’s fashion magazine. I hadn’t seen one in years, so out of curiosity I proceeded through its pages. I have never EVER seen such ridiculous fashion on young men that looked more like women than they could ever look like a man. I was absolutely shocked at what I saw with the WILD colors and floor length jackets etc. Man, I gotta’ tell ya Charlie Brown, there are a lot of folks that live on a completely different planet than you and I and I will including the Muslin women in congress at present. I tell ya, I am livid, I’m frustrated that my America seems to be falling apart and if the truth were known, I may have just fallen victim to too much “fake news.” I do believe that there are more of us than there are of “them” when I watch Mr. Trump speak at a rally and see how many of “us“ are there. Yes, I wish he would quit repeating himself and not trip over so much “twitter” and just continue to do his job. And a good job he has done in my humble opinion. I’m done! “How now brown cow?” I almost made it to timberline with this column and I do feel better. Thanks for indulging me! Stay tuned, check yer cinch on occasion, take a ride in the timber if you can, hold American values close to your heart, and I’ll c. y’all, all y’all. ❖

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Mad Jack Hanks

What gives?


Okay, so today is Nov. 18 and you have already had Thanksgiving by the time you read this column.

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