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Freakish weather patterns

Nevah and I ventured through our first post-COVID-two-vaccinations trip last weekend. We traveled to northwest Arkansas to visit with long-term accountant friend, ol’ P.N. Cilpusher, and his biz associate, Phillip deLedger. We hadn’t seen them in about three years.

We needed to pick up our 2021 federal and state tax returns — plus pick their minds about our plans for lifestyle downsizing. We’ve reached that age, sadly.

We had a great time visiting, chowing down and playing cards and catching up on family news. It wuz a great time to be in northwest Arkansas as we caught the full benefit of the dogwood blooming. However, we did notice one change in the tree-blooming schedule. We noticed that the redbud trees are in full bloom from Manhattan, Kan., (a week ago) all the way to Rogers, Ark. That’s unusual because redbuds are usually pretty sensitive to south-north seasonal change. We guessed that the unusual weather pattern so far last winter and this spring messed up the redbud blooming schedule. But, that’s just a guess on our part.



***

Speaking of strange weather patterns, Monday and Tuesday of this week had one of the strangest. We left Arkansas about 9 a.m. Monday and had full-sunshine all the way home. The temperature gradually rose to near 70 degrees. However, as we neared home, the temperature started gradually falling and wuz around 55 degrees when we got home. Then, early Tuesday morning it started snowing hard and kept it up until about 11 a.m. and the temperature wuz right around freezing.



But, by shortly after noon, the snow had all melted, the sun wuz shining. Tuesday night the temperature stayed low and got below freezing right at dawn on Wednesday morning. Talk about hectic Flint Hills weather.

***

I’ve got happy news to report on the beagle hound puppy front. My ol’ recently retired buddy, Avery Ware, called April 15 to report that his beagle hound female wuz having puppies. I hurried over to take a look-see and she had five puppies when I got there. By the time I left an hour later, she had a sixth puppy and we thought she wuz done.

However, after I left, she had three more pups — for a total of nine — five males and four females. And, surprisingly, none of them are runts and the new momma is adequately feeding all nine pups from just eight “feeding stations.”

Avery has been raising beagle litters for decades and this litter of nine is the biggest he’s ever had born.

All the pups are gaining weight and filling out and, after I got home from Arkansas, I helped Avery clip the superfluous dew-claws from the pup’s feet.

I can’t wait until the pups get their eyes open and start developing their “dog personalities.” Ain’t nuthin’ cuter than a bunch of beagle puppies.

***

OK, time for the fun stuff to begin.

An Ozark farmer found a buried bottle in a gravel bar on a pretty little Ozark creek and he could see the bottle had a note in it.

He opened the bottle and “poof” a magical, thankful fairy emerged and said she would grant the farmer one wish.

“I wish to live forever,” the farmer said with hardly a thought.

“Sorry,” said the fairy, “That is the only wish that I’m not allowed to grant.”

“Fine,” the farmer said, “then I want to die the day after Congress is filled with honest, hard-working, bipartisan men and women who act only in the people’s best interests!”

“You are one crafty farmer,” replied the fairy.

***

If you worry about Democrats/Republicans — relax, here is our real problem.

In an Ivy League political science class recently, the prof and students were discussing the qualifications to be president of the United States. It was pretty simple. The candidate must be a natural born citizen of at least 35 years of age

However, one girl in the class immediately start arguing how unfair was the requirement to be a natural born citizen. In short, her opinion was that this requirement prevented many capable individuals from becoming president.

The class was taking it in and raptly listening to her rant. Only the prof’s jaw hit the floor when she wrapped up her argument by asking, “What makes a natural born citizen any more qualified to lead this country than one born by C-section?”

Yep, these are the same college educated who are now voting in our elections! No wonder so many liberal arts college graduates can’t find a job!

***

Missouri farmers in the Ozark Mountains often brag about whose farm fields or pastures are the steepest. Here’s the best one I’ve heard.

An Ozark farmer claims that his farm is so steep he can look out his chimney and see his milk cows heading for the barn. Plus, he says if you fall off his porch, you’ll roll all the way to the Bootheel of the state.

***

Words of observation for the week: “And so ends another week without me becoming unexpectedly rich.” I’ll hope for better next week.

Have a good ‘un.


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Milo Yield

County fair results

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Well, the big expensive vacation that I’d been planning to take with ol’ Nevah after the Chase County Fair — financed by all the big bucks I planned to take home via the cash premiums…



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