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Jack-um-up show stick

Folks, if you have watched as many beef shows as I have in my long life, I’m sure you’ve seen a lot of things go wrong. I know I have — such things as cattle dragging their showperson around the arena, then escaping the show arena entirely, or … seeing the beef judge get kicked by a winning critter when he gives it a congratulatory slap on its butt, or … kids crying when their entry loses and red-eyed parents trying to placate their youngsters.

My point of this discussion is that glad, sad, and bad things can happen in a beef show arena that people can’t easily control. So, the corollary to those random and unpredictable happenings is that a show-person should do all he or she can to keep control of the arena situation.

Which brings me to the crux of this conversation about showing beef. The very worst sad/bad things I’ve seen happen while showing a beef critter is the plight of a young 4H’er or any young show-person who is too small to properly handle a beef show-stick.



We can all acknowledge that using a beef show stick properly is crucial to showing a beef animal to its best advantage. One of the main purposes of the show stick is to get the critter’s backbone perfectly level as the judge gazes and evaluates it. That’s a truth in both youth shows and adult shows.

That’s what makes it so sad to see a little kid trying his or her best to handle a show stick that’s too long and unwieldy. I’ve seen little kids break into sobs and tears when they drop their show sticks into the sawdust (or worse, manure), or the sticks break, bend, splinter or come apart when their critter steps on it. Or the little kid trying to handle a too-big showstick inadvertently pokes the critter in the ribs being shown next to it and causes an unneeded and embarrassing commotion in the show ring.



Well, like I usually do when I see an aggie problem, I try to solve it. To solve this beef show problem, I invented the JACK-UM-UP SHOW STICK (pictured below).

As any practical person can see, the Jack-um-up show stick is simple to use. It’s a lightweight show stick that comes in various sizes for beef show folks ranging in age from pre-school to adult. The key component is the built-in patented “GPS Precise Backbone Leveler.”

It operates on the same principle as an old-fashioned car jack. The show person simply stops his/her beef critter and then positions the Jack-um-up show stock under the critter’s belly-button and then easily, smoothly and discreetly moves the handle up and down until the “backbone leveler” raises up and precisely and electronically stops when the critter’s backbone is perfectly level for the judge.

I can report that users of my Jack-um-up show stick happily report more champions and grand champions than ever before. And, little kids become enthralled with showing beef, instead of wanting to quit the show ring out of frustration and start showing rabbits or chickens.

Plus, the extra cash from selling grand champions in premium auctions or in commercial auctions makes the modest price of the Jack-um-up show stick a bargain at any price.

***

Another of my all-time favorite country western singers — honky-tonk pianist and crooner Mickey Gilley, 86 — has gone to the great stage in the sky that tops the iconic stage at the Grand Ol’ Opry.

He joins an ever-lengthening list of deceased men c/w singers that I consider more-or-less my contemporaries — Merle Haggard, George Jones, Jim Ed Brown, Boxcar Willie, Charlie Pride, Charlie Daniels, Don Williams, Ray Price, Jerry Reed, Joe Diffie, Mel Tillis and Tom T. Hall.

Those folks are among the greatest entertainers and song writers who every took the stage. I couldn’t even make a wild guess how many miles I’ve traveled listening to Mickey Gilley or any of the others I’ve listed.

It’s always sad to see anyone pass from the scene. But, it’s inevitable for us all. So, RIP, Mickey Gilley.

***

Got an email from ol’ Dee “Rip” Sweat, from Thornfield, Mo., who just needed to vent about the circumstance of his bad day. He wrote: “I stand here in the Ozarks dripping in perspiration, disgusted at the stuck metric PTO shaft, mad that my chawing tobacco packet is empty and it’s replacement is a cheap imitation of my favorite brand — which I’ve used since when I swiped it from my Dad. So, I have a suggestion for your weekly words of wisdom: ‘Can’t anything good stay constant?”

Have a good ‘un.


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