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Picture perfect weather

Laugh Tracks in the Dust
Milo Yield
Damphewmore Acres, Kan.

I’ve got some startling news from Damphewmore Acres. We’ve got pink naked ladies standing proudly in many places in our yard. They are one of my favorite flowers, not only for their look, but also because of their catchy name.

I looked their formal scientific name up on the internet. Here’s what it said about the flower: Amaryllis Belladonna have fragrant light-pink flowers that appear in mid-August once their green foliage has died back, giving them the common name of “Naked Ladies.” It’s more fun to talk about Naked Ladies in my yard than to use the scientific name.

•••

Something is up with the long-term weather. First, we had about two weeks of “mountain morning” air in the Flint Hills. The humidity was low. The temperature got down into the low 60s or high 50s at night and the mid-80s to high 70s during the days. Plus, we got some welcome gentle rains for the crops.

I don’t know whether it was the weather, but something prompted our flock of purple martins to leave the last week of July. I really like purple martins and wish they’d stay longer. They got here late in the spring and left early this summer. Hope their early leaving is not a prognostication of an early and bad winter.

•••

I’ve got plenty of family and friends to share my plethora of tomatoes and peppers with, but I need more folks who like to eat okra. It’s coming on strong and I’m gonna have a big surplus.

I planted some fall green beans and some fall radishes in raised garden beds yesterday. If Jack Frost holds off until after Oct. 10, the green beans will have time to mature.

•••

I took the two neighbor boys, actually young men, with me Monday to go fishing in a pond I’d treated three weeks ago for a pond weed and algae problem. The weather wuz perfect. The water wuz now perfect. And, the fish were biting nicely. We filled a medium-sized cooler with fish to fillet.

Hard to have a better day in August in the Flint Hills.

•••

The old saying goes that when it rains it pours, and that’s the truth when it comes to mechanical failures. This past week, I had to have a faulty garage door replaced. Then the shifting linkage on my tractor shot craps and I’ve invited my favorite mechanic, ol’ G. Reecy Nuckels, to come fix the gear-shifting problem.

In addition, when I took my pickup, utility vehicle, and two-wheeled trailer into the shop for belated routine maintenance, Reecy told me my UTV will need some major front end work in the near future, and that he had to replace the bearings on the trailer, not just pack them with grease as I’d requested.

Then when Nevah drove me in her SUV to pick up my vehicle at the shop, a traction warning light came on in the dash. So, we just left her SUV at Reecy’s shop and he’s fixing it today.

•••

I got a surprise last weekend when the doorbell rang and it wuz my Colorado retired-carpenter buddy, ol’ Sawyer Bord. He wuz traveling from near Mankato, Minn., where he had been fishing, down to visit his two cousins, who farm near here. We had a good visit. It’s always good to visit with friends.

•••

Kansas had its primary election this week. Most of the folks I voted for won their primaries.

Speaking of elections, if I’ve got my facts correct, the current federal law says you must know English to become a citizen. If that’s true, then why are foreign language ballots even printed?

•••

I didn’t think any good could come from everyone isolating in their homes. But, I wuzn’t thinking soundly. Consider that mosquitoes have to have blood to drink to reproduce. Well, then, logically, if we all stay indoors a bit longer, maybe we can starve mosquitoes into extinction.

That action alone would go a long way toward uniting all humanity. Who loves mosquitoes and the diseases they carry?

•••

Overheard at the Old Boars’ Breakfast Club: “Have you noticed how the lame stream media has quit calling AR-15s “assault” weapons ever since rioters and looters started carrying them? Guess now they are just peaceful protest props.”

•••

Today is one of those days when one of the really bad things about aging slaps you in the face. Sadly, if you live long enuf, you will have to attend a lot of your good friend’s funerals or memorial services.

I got the sad news this morning that my good friend Morris, or “Mocephus” as I fondly nicknamed him, died after a long and painful bout with a lung disease. He was a best friend with whom I enjoyed drinking coffee, fishing, playing cards, and just ruminating about life and the world in general.

“Mo” will be sorely missed, but his memory carries on. RIP, Good Friend.

•••

Words of wisdom for the week: Quit arguing with stupid people. Be content to leave them alone with their ignorance. Have a good ‘un. ❖


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