Snake scare |

Snake scare

Laugh Tracks in the Dust
Milo Yield
Damphewmore, Acres, Kan.

After a 3/4-inch rain a few days ago, it dried out enuf for me to plant my first fall garden (about two-weeks later than ideal) and food plots for my chickens and all the local wildlife. Well, not quite ALL the local wildlife, because one member of that wildlife community gave me a bit of a scare a few hours ago.

After I got the tilling completed, I wuz planting a little patch of fall kale in the place my recent dog kennel was located for 15 years. I figgered the soil under the kennel ought to be fertile — perhaps too much.

I still had a few boards laying on the ground near the brooder house and I wuz moving them out from under my feet when I spied some kind of snake slithering under a board. So, I lifted it up to take a look. At first, I thought it wuz a small bull snake — rather common around Damphewmore Acres. In fact, since I had on my leather gloves, my first thought wuz to simply grab the snake and take a closer look. But, then it registered on my feeble old mind that the snake didn’t quite fit the criteria of bullsnake. In fact, the little 18-inch snake wuz coiled to strike and I noticed — with instant concern — that the wildlife “friend” enjoying the local accommodations was, indeed, a nasty tempered little prairie rattlesnake.

So, rather than grab it, I conked it on the head with the hammer I had in my hand and then took a closer look. Yep, three unmistakeable little rattles were on the snake’s tail.

I always keep a watch out for poisonous snakes, but I hadn’t seen a rattle here since the first week we moved into this home in 2004. That’s when I killed a mature prairie rattler on the floor of our garage. I hope it’s 15 years before I see another rattler on the premises.

Oh, all’s well that ends well and I escaped getting bit and now the reptilian nuisance is residing buried in my compost pile.

I’ll mention that in addition to kale, I also planted green beans (I fear too late to escape a frost before harvest), radishes and leaf lettuce.


A passle of good folks from Kinsley, Kan., came last weekend and bought the game bird fly pen I wuz selling for my friend Lon G. Horner. Ol’ Rhea Semblit came with a crew of four kinfolks and friends and they disassembled the pen and had it loaded in a trailer in about 2 hours.

I hope they can put it all back together just as quickly.

Now, the only thing connected with my last bird dog is the two-wheel, four-dog trailer. It’s still for sale for $300. Give me a call at (620) 344-1350.


Ray Simm, the race trainer working with the Thoroughbred colt I have a one-tenth racing interest in, reports the colt, Giant Clawsway, had a very productive workout last Friday on a muddy track at Remington Park in Oklahoma City. The colt clocked a respectable 50-seconds flat for four furlongs (a half-mile) in the mud.

Next step for the colt is timed workouts out of the starting gate. This week he’ll run five-furlongs out of the gate and next week six-furlongs. If both of those gate workouts go okay, Ray will start looking for a mile race to enter the colt in for his first actual race. Ray sez the colt will be a better distance runner than a sprinter which is fine with me because I’ll be able to watch him run longer each race.


The non-aggie news is filled with glowing plaudits of fake meat — that ill-conceived concoction of plant “stuff” and lab-grown fake blood. In fact, Burger King now has a fake meat “Impossible Whopper” on its menu in some locations. That makes Burger King off limits to me for any future burger purchases.

Dan Murphy, at Farm Journal Pork, recently wrote a timely piece about the ingredients of fake meat and how close they are to high priced dog food. Here’s part of what Dan wrote: “If you were to read the ingredient labels, you’d be surprised to see the similarities between the new wave of shamburgers and high-end dog food. Which one’s more nutritious? Tough to say. We’ve previously visited the subject of alt-meat, plant-based shamburgers, with respect to the reality that these formulated products are being advertised and market positioned as ‘better for you.’ Why? Because they’re manufactured from plants, of course! A set of ingredients appearing on alt-meat products, and one appearing on a bag of dog food (is revealing). Here are the three ingredient statements. Which one’s the dog food? A). Water, pea protein isolate, canola oil, refined coconut oil, rice protein, natural flavors, cocoa butter, mung bean protein, methylcellulose, potato starch, apple extract. salt, potassium chloride, vinegar, lemon juice concentrate, sunflower lecithin, pomegranate fruit powder, beet juice extract. B). Peas, sweet potato, pea protein, pea starch, lentils, flaxseed meal, sunflower oil, calcium carbonate, vegetable flavoring, salt, folic acid, minerals and vitamins. C). Water, soy protein concentrate, coconut oil, sunflower oil, natural flavors, potato protein, methylcellulose, yeast extract, cultured dextrose, modified food starch, soy leghemoglobin, salt, soy protein isolate, and vitamins. You’ve probably figured this out by now, so we won’t extend the suspense. The answers are: A) — Beyond Beef. B) — Walk About Super Premium Dog Food. C) — Impossible Burger.”

Yum! Yum! Get out of my life, fake food and fake news! Our planet and ranchers can still produce enuf nutritious “real” hamburgers for all of us.


Words of wisdom for the week. “Never keep your lawn to impress your kinfolks and neighbors. Keep it to please yourself.” Have a good ‘un. ❖

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Milo Yield

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