Quarantine: Week 5 | TheFencePost.com

Quarantine: Week 5

It has been five weeks and I’ve worn a pretty good path from my stand up desk to the refrigerator. I read a funny on Facebook that it’s bad when you open your fridge and it says, “What the hell do you want now?”

To make matters worse, after finding nothing to eat in my fridge in the kitchen I was on my way to the one in the garage and found my husband’s stash of Easter candy. Those Dove chocolates were so yummy that I almost downed the whole bag. When my husband got home and saw the wrappings he yelled at me, “What are you doing eating my candy?”

I just yelled right back at him, “What are you doing trying to kill me?” That’s because I had just read a story about how obese people are more likely to succumb to the COVID-19 virus.The next day when I went back for more candy, it was gone. He had moved his stash.

Then there’s the boredom, because I can’t work 24 hours a day.

I have played solitaire on my phone for so long it overheated and I nearly burnt my hands. I bought a 19 pound book of crossword puzzles from Amazon and I’m pretty sure carpel tunnel is going to set in soon.

And I started a jigsaw puzzle that is driving me insane. I thought puzzles were supposed to be relaxing? The box says it is for ages 10 and up. I’m pretty sure a 10-year-old would not be able to put together this monster.

I do all of these activities while I’m watching television and eating. An exercise I like to refer to as multitasking.

I have also developed a habit of taking a shower only two or three days a week. That forces me to find clever ways to disguise my greasy, dirty hair. Day one: clean hair; day two: headband to hold back hair; day three: bandana wrapped around my hair; and day four hair in a pony tail with headband and a bandana. One day I was cruising through Facebook and saw that people were shaving their heads. Unfortunately I don’t have a hair clippers and I don’t think my husband’s wireless shaver is going to cut it.

Thanks to Mother Nature, my daily walks have been interrupted by cold, ice and snow. If it doesn’t stop snowing soon, I’m moving back to North Dakota. The nasty weather also drove off the two squirrels and doves that have been entertaining me for the last four weeks.

The other day I got in my truck and drove around the neighborhood, just to see if I still knew how to drive.

I’m thinking about taking up the harmonica again. At one time, when I was a flag person and we were working on a one way road in the middle of nowhere in far northwest North Dakota, someone gave me a harmonica. So every day I worked on playing Jingle Bells. Well, somebody didn’t like Jingle Bells and took the harmonica away from me. But, I have a harmonica that my grandmother handed down to my mother and then on to me so, I could try again.

My husband would enjoy that, and it would teach him not to hide his candy stash from me. ❖