Petersen: The triumphant return of red meat

In a magazine, called “Men’s Health,” writer, Markham Heid, penned a thoughtful article titled: The Triumphant Return of Red Meat. “…research reveals that the evils of beef are a load of bull.”

Heid quotes Dariush Mozaffarian, chair of nutrition at Tufts University, who has been researching the subject for 15 years. “…unprocessed red meat — steaks, chops, and other whole cuts — isn’t a health villain if you eat it in moderation.”

The article lists six cuts of beef, detailing how they’re prepared for best flavor. Here’s the scrumptious six — in verse form. May be posted on your refrigerator door without guilt.

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RIB EYE, an all-American steak,

“Rib eye, an all-American steak, a juicy work of art. Guaranteed to make self-righteous vegetarians barf.”

A juicy work of art

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Guaranteed to make self-righteous

vegetarians barf

FLAT IRON STEAK, can’t be beat

It’s got amazing taste

Guaranteed to make self-righteous

vegetarians quake

BEEF HEART grilled to medium rare

Cube, skewer and sauce it

Guaranteed to make self-righteous

vegetarians toss it

SIRLOIN FLAP, rich with fat

Sear to medium rare

Guaranteed to make self-righteous

vegetarians glare

SIRLOIN TIP; serve in strips

Along with sour cream

Guaranteed to make self-righteous

vegetarians scream

TRI TIP…(sliced from lower sirloin)

Rich and tender, oh my

Guaranteed to make self-righteous

vegetarians sigh

Vegetarians haughtily preach

That avoiding meat is wise

Twill cure all ailments, prolong your life

But here’s what I surmise…

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again

In spite of their endless fussin’

vegetarians will one day be

In bed — DYIN’ OF NOTHIN’!❖