In ranch and farm country, a veterinarian’s service leads the list of necessities. His or her phone number is posted right next to the landline phone, noted in the cell phone and scratched in the dust on the side of the pickup.

Veterinarians Are My Weakness

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(tune: Battle Hymn of the Republic)

“Glory, Glory Veterinarian. There’s poop upon his boots.”

Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Vet

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He is trampling in the barnyard where the creatures he has met

Have loosed their wrath upon him and this is what he’ll get —

Some poop upon his boots.

Chorus–

Glory, glory Veterinarian

Glory, glory Veterinarian

Glory, glory Veterinarian

There’s poop upon his boots.

He wrassles snorty critters that are sometimes on the fight

He has seen them in the morning and he’s seen them in the night

He doctors all the rank ones and he tries with all his might

Not to step in any poop.

Chorus —

A farmer had a critter that was doin’ bad somehow

The Vet said bring a sample in of fecal from your cow

I’ll check it for some parasites and remedy things now

With poop upon my boots.

Chorus —

The farmer looked real puzzled and he sadly shook his head

My cow don’t have no fecal Doc, cuz she is mostly red

So go ahead and fix her Doc afore she turns up dead

With poop upon her snoot.

Chorus —

A puppy with the colic; oh its belly hurt it so

Doc hauled the pup to clinic, the one in town where people go

And zapped it with an X-ray quick before a nurse could know

With poop upon his boots.

Chorus —

He gave a bull some rompun and he gave it lidocaine

The bull fell in a coma and for weeks it felt no pain

Bull lay around real quiet, then that bull went plumb insane

And soaked poor Doc with poop.

Chorus —

Doc freezes in the winter and he swelters in the heat

He tackles all the problems and he never does retreat

Oh, he’s swift to preg-test bovines and he’s quick upon his feet

When standing in the chute.

Chorus —

In the beauty of the cowpies, Vets are there for you and me

With his vaccines and his pullers and his A-I plastic sleeve

He will tend our sickly critters, but he will not do it free

With poop upon his boots.

Chorus —❖