Sure, that will work |

Sure, that will work

Tales from the O-No Ranch
Mad Jack Hanks
Wellington, Colo.

Gentle readers, being patient has never been one of my admirable qualities. I hated to go shopping with Little Miss Martha as she was slow, methodical and always sure of what she wanted when she stopped to look at some item to purchase. Now most women, I’m sure don’t have to second guess what shampoo, foundation or lip gloss or eye shadow they want. They already know just as a man knows what brand of after shave he prefers. When it comes to housewares, furniture, clothes, yep, especially clothes, a woman can drive a man over the cliff while he waits for her to make her final decision.

When it comes to me I always seem to get home with a shirt or a pair of jeans that don’t fit like I thought they were supposed to. Try them on before I buy them? Not much of a chance there. That takes a lot of time out of my day and going into one of those little dressing rooms when you are 6 foot 2 and sitting down on that little bench. Heck, yer knees almost kick the little shuttered door open for all to see. Yeah, right, like they would want to see this old buzzard with no feathers on! Now there have been those occasions when I actually tried on pants or a shirt if it was a new brand I wasn’t familiar with but those were few and far between.

I recently bought a new shirt, new brand and just had the sales girl hold it up across my back to see where the seams lay across my shoulders. The size, large with extra long tail, was what I wanted. Nope. Not with this brand, it was too big and awkward. I sent it to my brother down in Texas as he is a little bigger than myself and went back and bought the same shirt in a smaller size cause I really liked the shirt. That happens to me too much of the time and I reckon that I am too hard headed to change my ways.

I also recently bought a smart phone! Are you kiddin’ me Mad Jack? Sure did and I gotta’ tell you children, I don’t think there is any way I will begin to approach the level of “smartness” it’s gonna’ take for me to feel comfortable with it. I thought about takin’ it back but I wanted a good camera and felt the need to be able to text family and friends as most don’t email much any more.

“When it comes to me I always seem to get home with a shirt or a pair of jeans that don’t fit like I thought they were supposed to.”

I went back to the T Mobile store and had them go over some of it with me for the second time. I have been on YouTube watchin’ folks show me how to text etc. Funny thing: their phones are supposed to be just like mine but when I follow along I see their little icons are different than mine. What’s up with that? Oh well, maybe by the time I get my vision back (no more double vision) I’ll have that smart phone eared down and saddled where I can get on and ride! Maybe, maybe not? It’s obvious to me why they call it a SMART PHONE!

Stay tuned, check yer cinch on occasion, and I’m hopin’ this summer will be one of peace, good will, lots of grass, fat cows, a strong market and sensible and reasonable politicians! Is that too much to ask? I’ll c. y’all, all y’all. ❖


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Mad Jack Hanks

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