Recent Stories | TheFencePost.com

Recent Stories by Gwen Petersen

Cannonball and Clem

May 25, 2018 — Going on vacation "Out West" sometimes means staying at a "guest" ranch. Or if you want to be less politically correct — a "dude" ranch. The summer Clem hired on as a wrangler on a dude ranch provided him with social skills he didn't know

Learn more »

Peterson: Movin’ Cows Down the County Road on a Summer Day

May 18, 2018 — Looking through my old files I came across a poem written after a day in the saddle moving a small bunch of cows down a gravel country road. I, of course, was the "Instant Hired Hand" — a euphemism for "the wife," But it was

Learn more »

Petersen: Golden Age Hooplah

May 11, 2018 — Have you ever constructed a newsletter? Or thought about doing so? These days it seems every business, store, organization, school, website…you name it, a newsletter brags on its product or service. Thus, I am moved to create a newsletter on behalf of persons of "golden

Learn more »

Petersen: My embarrassing moment

May 4, 2018 — Have you ever been deeply embarrassed because of something dumb that happened to you? I certainly have. The latest mortification occurred just last week. Some things one cannot make up. One can only profess, confess and admit to what happened. This is an absolutely true

Learn more »

Petersen: The twine that binds

April 27, 2018 — It's been a long winter. Spring should be around the corner. However, yesterday, we had another snow storm. Well, half snow, half rain. Roads are a woefully-muddy mess. Ranchers are using up the last of their winter hay and some are having to buy more,

Learn more »

In a Sow’s Ear: The annual horse drive

April 20, 2018 — Each year, proceeds from the annual horse drive event in Gardiner, Mont., benefits a worthy cause. This year the drive will allocate the money to buy chairs for wounded and disabled military men and women. In case you're not familiar with the horse drive, it

Learn more »

Computer gremlins strike

April 13, 2018 — Mildred drove over to her friend Gladys' ranch and stomped into her kitchen. Mildred: Gladys? … I gotta use your computer. Gladys: Well, uh, sure, but what's the matter with yours? Mildred: Furthermore, I hate, loathe and despise computers. Gladys: Wow. tell me how you

Learn more »

Petersen: Delia and Delbert

April 6, 2018 — Have you been to your high school reunion? Delia has. This is her story. When Delia was tripping over the beginning of her teen years — she was maybe 12 or 13 — there was a young boy in her elementary school who had a

Learn more »

Petersen: Government help

March 30, 2018 — Being a rancher means: … you have an "organic" connection to the land every single day and lots of nights. … unless you're a movie star, it takes a second job to support your ranch. Which is why many ranchers and most horseshoers marry school

Learn more »

Petersen: Limericks to live by

March 23, 2018 — National Ag month recognizes that without farming and ranching, humans would have nothing to eat or wear. Here's a few limericks that showcase (sorta) how cowboys, farmers and plain pig farmers get the job — of feeding and clothing the world — done. LIMERICKS TO

Learn more »

Petersen: The triumphant return of red meat

March 16, 2018 — In a magazine, called "Men's Health," writer, Markham Heid, penned a thoughtful article titled: The Triumphant Return of Red Meat. "…research reveals that the evils of beef are a load of bull." Heid quotes Dariush Mozaffarian, chair of nutrition at Tufts University, who has been

Learn more »

Peterson: You know you’re a country woman when…

March 9, 2018 — Last week's column revealed ranch and farm country "edicts" i.e. rules that apply to those who earn their livelihood by daily coping with the vicissitudes of growing foods and fibers that feed and clothe people. Today's column is gender specific. Which is to say, if

Learn more »

Petersen: Woolly west edicts

March 2, 2018 — Edicts: the word may be defined as proclamations, announcements, preachments, laws, decrees, statues, acts, diktats, orders, commands, rulings, statements, declarations. Greenhorns to woolly west ranch country are sometimes confused, puzzled, perplexed, baffled, bewildered and mystified by country words, deeds and attitudes. Tenderfoots may find the following

Learn more »

Petersen: Me and the NRA

February 15, 2018 — I'm a person who proudly supports The NRA. I pack a weapon for self-protection Almost every day. To legally carry a concealed gun, A permit is always needed. So, off I went to the weapons shop; For a permit I then pleaded. I bought some

Learn more »

What’s funny about old age

February 9, 2018 — Myrtle and Mabel, retired, widowed ranch women, recently joined the Hospitality House Senior Center in town. After spending what seemed like 100 years cooking for the three H's: HUSBAND, HIRED HANDS, HUNDREDS OF HOLIDAYS DOIN'S, AND COUNTLESS POTLUCKS — Myrtle and Mabel thoroughly enjoy taking

Learn more »

Peterson: Cowboy Clem goes on a date

February 2, 2018 — Cowboy Clem was awful shy, So, when he fell in love with Kate He asked for help from a cooler guy What should he do on a date? Not a problem, I'll give it some thought Said Mr. Experienced guy Take her to dinner at

Learn more »

Petersen: A moral tale

January 26, 2018 — A little old lady walked up to the rail In front of the Oasis bar She led a mule packed with gear She'd prospected near and far. She tied her mule to the hitching post And brushed the dust from her clothes Her mouth was

Learn more »

Medicare senior health questionnare

January 19, 2018 — And then there's the story of Elsie and Ed, a retired ranching couple who, after they turned over operation of the ranch to their offspring, contemplated life from a dotage perspective. "Heck," Ed said, "we don't have much to do anymore but sit around." "Well,

Learn more »

Petersen: Sourdough

January 12, 2018 — 2018 — a grand new year. Time to discover, initiate, develop and otherwise take charge of … are you ready … sourdough. Occasionally a restaurant will offer sourdough pancakes on their breakfast menu. But, having your own never-dying sourdough beast living in your refrigerator means you can

Learn more »

Petersen: Resolved

January 5, 2018 — Ready or not, a new year is here. Folks are making resolutions to do better, be nicer, save more, spend less and be kinder. The list of potentially uplifting, inspiring, rousing, inspirational "to-do" goals to achieve in 2018 is admirable, ain't it? The following is

Learn more »