Recent Stories | TheFencePost.com

Recent Stories by Gwen Petersen

The cursed wind

January 11, 2019 — Do you have wind in your county? If you don't, you'll find all that moving air concentrated here in this Montana county. You're welcome to come and harvest all the zephyrs, breezes, gales, drafts, wafts, gentle wind, light wind or puff of air. Take your

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The fancy throne

January 3, 2019 — Be careful what gifts you bestow on old cowboys, especially if they're not used to modern privies equipped with state-of-the-art electronic aides. Well, this incident sorta, really happened read on. THE PRESENT Those two old punchers, Shorty and Clyde, Ain't got no use for life's

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Spider spotters and plant trimmers

December 27, 2018 — Do you like cats? The little furballs come in all sizes, colors and attitudes. People either like felines or they experience a wrenching disgust at the sight, sound or nearness of a cat critter. As one who has been trained by a succession of kitty-cats

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Petersen: Once upon a time

November 30, 2018 — Once upon a time in a Very Old House in a Very Old Village in a Very Old Country where Very Old Customs still prevailed, a Very Old Couple decided to give a party to all the children of the village. They decorated their Very

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Petersen: Hats for all seasons

November 23, 2018 — History: that's the stuff in books about people, places and things that happened in the past. Or in the case of millennial persons, events that happened before they were born, which leads me to revive a blast from the past of personal history. Way back

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Petersen: The price to vote

November 16, 2018 — At last! Midterm elections are over — mostly. And of course, everybody's happy. Hugs and kisses are flying back and forth twixt all politicians. Makes a person feel all warm and tingly. I did my civic duty and drove to town to vote. No one

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Elderly territory

November 11, 2018 — The State of Elderly has no barriers, rules, regulations or gold cards. It's a territory that advocates no specific religious persuasion; it will not deny anyone on the basis of ethnic or racial background, whom one may know, whether one voted for the donkey, the

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Petersen: 3—7—77

November 5, 2018 — This story was written more than 20 years ago as a tribute to law officers everywhere. It bears repeating. Real heroes are people who do their duty with no particular fanfare. Such are the men and women of the Highway Patrol who travel thousands of

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Petersen: A helping hand

November 5, 2018 — Increasingly, people are moving away from the cities and attempting to establish roots in the country. If they can't relocate on a permanent basis, they troop into and onto the countryside during their vacations from city drudgery. Whether temporary or permanent settlers, these souls are

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Petersen: What to name the baby

October 19, 2018 — Harry and Harriet, cattle ranchers, were about to have their second child. The question became: What to name the baby. Sometimes a serious name, chosen with love, can turn into an embarrassing nickname that sticks to the child forever. So, Harriet and Harry thought and

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You know it’s going to be a hard winter

October 16, 2018 — The good ol' boys at the coffee shop, stressed-out ranchers gloomily palaverin' about the weather while leaning on the backend of a pickup and anxious business townsfolk pondering the pessimistic prospect of nobody buying their merchandise are all guessing what winter will be like. Professional

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Petersen: How to extricate oneself from chairs and couches

October 5, 2018 — You may or may not be swimming in the Ocean of Dotage. If you are, you might identify with the following excerpt from How to Be Elderly, A User's Guide, Volume One — a small book I penned way back when I began sliding down

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Petersen: DawgDays

September 28, 2018 — Here we all are… stumbling onward toward 2019. For a bazillion years, I've written and produced an annual Toot, Snoot, 'n Hoot comedy show, proceeds benefitting a variety of good causes. Digging through old, and often fossilized files, I came across one script featuring The

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Petersen: Hellbent for Election

September 21, 2018 — Recently, a fellow writer said she found writing comedy was hard. She asked, "How do you do it? Where do you get material and ideas?" "Well," I answered, "besides looking at my face in the mirror each morning, all I have to do is read

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Trying new things

September 14, 2018 — Never pass up a chance to enjoy a new experience — especially as you age. Recently I developed a rotator cuff issue after leading a horse from a far corner of the pasture back to the corral. Peaches, the old mare, is as gentle as

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Charolais Charlie and Limousin Larry

September 7, 2018 — Mark Twain was a notable commentator, humorist and an honest man. His take on government, policy-making and legislation applies as solidly today as it did back then. Some of his quotable remarks: "We have the best government money can buy." "It's easier to fool people,

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Petersen: Jake and Jerome

August 31, 2018 — The following is a true story. The names have been changed to protect the guilty. Jake and Jerome, two retired cowpokes sat in rocking chairs on Jake's veranda discussing the meaning of life which often meant the conversation turned to the fine art of fishing.

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Petersen: Dastardly deeds in Galloping Gulch

August 24, 2018 — Ever since the dawn of time and the later emergence of humankind, all cultures have depicted the times of their lives through assorted performing arts. Out West, amateur thespian groups can be found in the larger cities and in most small towns. Like musical groups,

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Sanders: Ranch woman image

August 17, 2018 — Want milk, steak, bread, vegetables? Just go to the nearest market and there one can browse and choose one's favorite edibles. Agriculturists have lately begun campaigns to educate the non-country populace as to how food actually happens. Along those lines, here's my contribution in verse

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Petersen: The touriens

August 13, 2018 — It's midsummer and once again the touriens are with us. tourien: A noun recently accepted as a legitimate word in the New Dictionary of American Lingo, 1776 edition. The expression represents an amalgamation of tourien: (tour-ist — noun. One who travels for pleasure), and: (alien

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