Recent Stories | TheFencePost.com

Recent Stories by Gwen Petersen

You know it’s going to be a hard winter

October 16, 2018 — The good ol' boys at the coffee shop, stressed-out ranchers gloomily palaverin' about the weather while leaning on the backend of a pickup and anxious business townsfolk pondering the pessimistic prospect of nobody buying their merchandise are all guessing what winter will be like. Professional

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Petersen: How to extricate oneself from chairs and couches

October 5, 2018 — You may or may not be swimming in the Ocean of Dotage. If you are, you might identify with the following excerpt from How to Be Elderly, A User's Guide, Volume One — a small book I penned way back when I began sliding down

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Petersen: DawgDays

September 28, 2018 — Here we all are… stumbling onward toward 2019. For a bazillion years, I've written and produced an annual Toot, Snoot, 'n Hoot comedy show, proceeds benefitting a variety of good causes. Digging through old, and often fossilized files, I came across one script featuring The

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Petersen: Hellbent for Election

September 21, 2018 — Recently, a fellow writer said she found writing comedy was hard. She asked, "How do you do it? Where do you get material and ideas?" "Well," I answered, "besides looking at my face in the mirror each morning, all I have to do is read

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Trying new things

September 14, 2018 — Never pass up a chance to enjoy a new experience — especially as you age. Recently I developed a rotator cuff issue after leading a horse from a far corner of the pasture back to the corral. Peaches, the old mare, is as gentle as

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Charolais Charlie and Limousin Larry

September 7, 2018 — Mark Twain was a notable commentator, humorist and an honest man. His take on government, policy-making and legislation applies as solidly today as it did back then. Some of his quotable remarks: "We have the best government money can buy." "It's easier to fool people,

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Petersen: Jake and Jerome

August 31, 2018 — The following is a true story. The names have been changed to protect the guilty. Jake and Jerome, two retired cowpokes sat in rocking chairs on Jake's veranda discussing the meaning of life which often meant the conversation turned to the fine art of fishing.

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Petersen: Dastardly deeds in Galloping Gulch

August 24, 2018 — Ever since the dawn of time and the later emergence of humankind, all cultures have depicted the times of their lives through assorted performing arts. Out West, amateur thespian groups can be found in the larger cities and in most small towns. Like musical groups,

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Sanders: Ranch woman image

August 17, 2018 — Want milk, steak, bread, vegetables? Just go to the nearest market and there one can browse and choose one's favorite edibles. Agriculturists have lately begun campaigns to educate the non-country populace as to how food actually happens. Along those lines, here's my contribution in verse

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Petersen: The touriens

August 13, 2018 — It's midsummer and once again the touriens are with us. tourien: A noun recently accepted as a legitimate word in the New Dictionary of American Lingo, 1776 edition. The expression represents an amalgamation of tourien: (tour-ist — noun. One who travels for pleasure), and: (alien

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An authentic way

August 3, 2018 — Here's a piece of history: Pincher Creek, Alberta, Canada, is more or less next door to Montana's northern border. Canada, too, has a distinctive tradition of hosting Cowboy Poetry Gatherings. Often, a posse of Canadian cowboys will sign up to participate in the annual Montana

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Petersen: Vegetarian anthems

July 27, 2018 — The core feeling among vegetarians is: They've figured out the meaning of life. They're quite sure that they'll live forever. Is anybody else, besides myself, confused about differences among assorted styles of vegetarians? Just to clarify, I've penned some definitions in verse form. Vegetarian Anthems

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Telemarketers

July 13, 2018 — Telemarketers

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Many long years ago

June 29, 2018 — Agnes and Alice, two over-the-hill cowgirls, were reminiscing one summer afternoon about their long-ago younger days before their tresses turned snowy. Not that they had seen their own natural-color hair in 40 or more years. They've never given up coloring their crowning glories. Agnes had

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Petersen: Crystal cuddlers

June 22, 2018 — This true story took place quite a few years ago. Della, a ranch woman — then in her 80s — operated her own small ranch. She was an old-time rancher, almost entirely self-sufficient. She raised an assortment of sheep, goats, chickens, rabbits and tended an

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Petersen: Carded at CheapCo

June 15, 2018 — Recently a friend and I were shopping in one of those CheapCo cut-rate stores, the kind that have a bazillion low-priced items that you can't live without. We shop there for low prices on computer ink, crossword puzzle books, recycled cheap movies and office supply

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Petersen: Tallulah

June 8, 2018 — And then there's the story of cowgirl Tallulah (not her real name) who lost the diamond from her wedding ring. Tallulah is in the business of training horses. It happened the day she was riding across a whole lot of prairie — on a green-broke

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Petersen: The right to bearhammers

June 1, 2018 — Every sane person is desperate to protect kids and others from people with twisted minds who go on killing sprees. Pro-gun or anti-gun … the blame game never stops. Did you know that other objects that have killing potential are being investigated by authorities, such

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Cannonball and Clem

May 25, 2018 — Going on vacation "Out West" sometimes means staying at a "guest" ranch. Or if you want to be less politically correct — a "dude" ranch. The summer Clem hired on as a wrangler on a dude ranch provided him with social skills he didn't know

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Peterson: Movin’ Cows Down the County Road on a Summer Day

May 18, 2018 — Looking through my old files I came across a poem written after a day in the saddle moving a small bunch of cows down a gravel country road. I, of course, was the "Instant Hired Hand" — a euphemism for "the wife," But it was

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