Recent Stories | TheFencePost.com

Recent Stories by Lee Pitts, Columnist

Pitts: A rare bird

May 18, 2018 — The closest town to mine is a well-known bird sanctuary, and once a year "birders" migrate to the big bird bash where they fill up the hotels, dine in local restaurants and put a smile on the face of the fine-feathered folks at the local

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Pitts: The rumor ranch

May 11, 2018 — I'm not one of those greenies who believes that humans are a cancerous growth destroying the planet, but I'll admit it's getting a little too crowded in my neck of the woods. The old sale yard is gone that had been there so long it

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Pitts: When animals sell bulls

May 4, 2018 — High tech has destroyed businesses, turned Main Street into a ghost town, and driven your Fed Ex and UPS delivery person to sheer exhaustion. Forget the mall, Americans are shopping on their cell phones. One of the few industries high tech has not tipped over

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Pitts: The Devil’s hat band

April 27, 2018 — As far as I am concerned, Joseph Glidden was the most miserable SOB that ever breathed a breath. I curse his memory every Oct. 27 because that's the day Joseph got the first-ever patent for barbed wire. Joseph Glidden is known as "The Father of

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Pitts: The cowboy arts

April 20, 2018 — I'm proud to say that I was a vocational student, even though the rest of my high school looked down on us and we were quarantined far from the regular campus. Teachers and school administrators weren't used to straight-A students and the smartest kid in

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Pitts: Making ‘The Change’

April 13, 2018 — It's come to my attention that lately there's been an influx of dairymen into the cattle business due to low milk prices. For many, making "The Change" has brought great joy because some dairymen felt there always was a cowboy or cowgirl hiding inside a

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Pitts: The Meatless Wonder

April 6, 2018 — "Do not condemn the judgement of another because it differed from your own. You may both be wrong." — Dandamis The biggest problem I had when leaving high school was that for four years the FFA had consumed my life and then, suddenly, I had

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Pitts: Soymanella Poisoning

March 30, 2018 — I don't know about you but I became a little irritated when I read that two of the three largest meat processors have made sizable investments in upstarts that produce fake meat. So, in addition to all the other things we have to worry about,

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Pitts: If butt for a name

March 23, 2018 — There's a fad occurring in the western world that I'd like to encourage. Ranch people are naming their kids rodeo-inspired words. I'm not talking about names like Freckles, Ote, Tibbs, Ty, Tuff, Trevor, Tomkins, Luke, Lane, Beaver, Monty, Mahan, Shoulders, Charmayne, Ace, Jake or Walt.

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Pitts: Poco not so bueno

March 16, 2018 — As we continue to unwind the double DNA helix, more and more genetic diseases like HYPP, GBED, HERDA and PSSM are popping up that can turn a valuable stud into horse meat for Frenchmen. For example, I used to think highly of the Quarter Horse

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Pitts: The bankruptcy book

March 9, 2018 — We've all heard of Chapter 11, and millions of folks have lived through chapters seven and 13. But where is this bankruptcy book from which these chapters come? From what I can tell, no one has ever read the entire tome. I know when I

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Pitts: Black or Red?

March 2, 2018 — I learned a long time ago that most people can be divided into one of two camps. My wife taught me that lesson the first time we went grocery shopping together 45 years ago. When we came to the condiment aisle she had a preconceived

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Pitts: A house is not a home

February 23, 2018 — I read somewhere that people move every seven years; I think mostly to show their friends that they're moving up in the world. We've lived in our home for 35 years now and I'm not going anywhere because I finally know where everything is. We've

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Pitts: Let’s sue someone

February 15, 2018 — Hi ladies, it's me, the wife of the slob who usually writes this column. He's resting now, getting his beauty sleep and believe me, he needs all he can get. Unbeknownst to him, I'm taking over the column this week because what I have to

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Pitts: Fake news

February 9, 2018 — Did you hear the American Angus Association has just bought out all the other breed associations in a multi-billion-dollar all-cash deal? Henceforth ALL the other beef breeds will NOT be referred to as Hereford, Simmental, Beefmaster, Brangus, Charolais, etc., but will instead be called "other

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Pitts: You may be a tool nut if …

February 2, 2018 — There's nobody I admire more than someone who knows their tools, unless it's someone who also collects them. And by the way, you don't have to be a guy to be a tool nut. My wife, for example, is a fabulous eyewear mechanic and has

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Ah-choo!

January 26, 2018 — Warning: This article was written as a research paper but was rejected by the Journal of Animal Science, New England Journal of Medicine, Mayo Clinical Proceedings, European Medical Journal, Journal of Experimental Medicine and The Nance County Journal. Although it was written with a sincere

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Pitts: Social Insecurity

January 19, 2018 — Nov. 17, 2017, was a big day in our lives. It's a day my wife and I have been working towards since we were teenagers. It's the day we signed up for Social Insecurity. I've paid into Social Insecurity since I was 16 years old

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Pitts: Ladycrats and Republimans

January 12, 2018 — World War III isn't going to be between the United States and Russia or the Mideast, it's going to be between men and women. And it won't be fought with guns and bombs because women are too smart for that. Instead they'll try to starve

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Pitts: In theory

January 5, 2018 — I used to have this theory, now debunked, that postulated if you added up the IQ of a person with the IQ of their dog, the total would be exactly the same in every case. For example, if you add up the IQ of a

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