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Recent Stories - Lee Pitts

Grounded

June 20, 2019

One of my biggest regrets in life is that I never got my pilot’s license. I often wonder what kind of career I’d have had if I took the money I spent on getting a...


The marketing power of me

June 14, 2019

I’ve noticed some of my fellow cow columnists have taken to endorsing products to supplement their income from ag periodicals and weekly newspapers who, up until now, have made it possible for all of us...


I can explain everything

May 24, 2019

Any day now I expect to get an email from one of the many editors of the magazines and newspapers who run this column informing me they no longer want my essays because I can’t...


Don’t call me that

May 10, 2019

Don’t call me a rancher. I don’t deserve it. Even though I’ve owned cattle since I was a sophomore in high school I’ve never been a “rancher.” I had my first “cow herd” as a...


The speech makers

April 19, 2019

Now days it’s not unusual for purebred breeders to offer 500 bulls in a sale but when I started working bull sales 46 years ago a typical sale might offer 60 or 70 bulls and...


I hate the internet

April 12, 2019

A few years ago Pete Gnatkowski from Carrizozo, N.M., wrote me, I hope in jest, and wondered which Lee Pitts I was. He’d Googled my name and found that there was a Lee Pitts African...


Work is a 4 letter word

April 5, 2019

I recently read about a 23-year-old woman in Spain who sued her parents because they refused to continue to support her. She was living at her parent’s home, had no money, never finished high school...


The cuddling kind

March 29, 2019

Every once in awhile I’ll hear about an idea that makes me slap my forehead and say, “I wish I’d have thought of that.” Cow cuddling is one of those ideas. According to writer Linnea...


The high cost of being cheap

March 22, 2019

Okay, I admit it: I’m the cheapest SOB who ever made soup out of a complimentary cup of hot water from McDonalds and a free packet of ketchup. My wife and I have been married...


‘Everythin I Know I Learnt in Collage’

March 15, 2019

Over 30 years ago Robert Fulghum wrote a short essay that overnight made him one of the most beloved writers in America. The essay was called “All I Really Needed to Know I Learned in...


Don’t let it snow

March 1, 2019

I hate snow. I know, I know, every 10 inches of snow supposedly equals 1 inch of rain and we all need rain, but a blizzard seems to me to be an awfully inefficient and...


Pitts: Relatively speaking

October 19, 2018

My family talks funny. My mom and grandparents on her side of the family are all gone now but I can still hear them using words like privy, lariat, pipsqueak, scuttlebutt and wieners. They said...


Pitts: Signs of a stroke

October 16, 2018

One of the signs you’re getting old is the AARP and the American Heart Association will send you pamphlets warning about the signs of a heart attack or stroke. Trust me, it’s not junk mail....


Pitts: My best idea yet

October 5, 2018

I’ve tried everything to make a living in the cow business. I bought expensive replacement heifers when the grass was green and the price was high only to have to sell them for beef eight...


Pitts: Save the ice cube

September 28, 2018

I have lived for most of my life within 10 miles of San Luis Obispo, Calif., or SLO as it’s known. Normally I hate cities, long lines and traffic jams so I tend to stay...


Pitts: Everybody looks better in a cowboy hat

September 21, 2018

When I taught myself how to engrave silver conchas I practiced on coins. Most of it was foreign coinage but occasionally I’d practice on U.S. coins. And yes, it’s legal as long as a person...


Pitts: Name your poison

September 14, 2018

Today’s lesson is about poisonous plants, dangerous delectables and fatal feedstuffs. I’m talking nightshade, lupine, milkweed and the poison used to kill Socrates: hemlock. Water hemlock is said to look a lot like parsnips and...


Pitts: Slow-moving traffic

September 7, 2018

If all the cars in the world were placed end to end … they’d probably be behind a slow-moving cattle truck. Everyone is in such a hurry these days they don’t have time to waste...


Pitts: Don’t eat the bait

August 31, 2018

The Cigarette Act of 1965 required labels on packages to warn consumers about the dangers of smoking. Although, if people who inhaled all that smoke didn’t realize it was unhealthy I doubt they were smart...


Pitts: A losing battle

August 24, 2018

We’ve turned the corner on beef consumption and it’s back on the rise after more than a decade of falling like a sack of hammers. I attribute beef’s decline to the plethora of diets urging...