Recent Stories | TheFencePost.com

Recent Stories - Lee Pitts

Fake out

November 1, 2019

It seems like everything is fake these days: fake news, fake ice cream, fake money, fake teeth, fake knees, fake hips and fake identities. Bald guys are wearing toupees, women are getting fake boobs and...


My iron in the fire

October 25, 2019

One of the rites of passage of a cowboy’s life is the day you get your own brand. I remember the first time I took my iron out of the fire as all work stopped...


Kissing cousins

October 18, 2019

I just finished reading a book about Albert Einstein written by Walter Isaacson and I don’t know what possessed me to do it. It was hard reading and the author used a lot of words...


Smile

October 11, 2019

I think I should have lived my life before 1826. That’s the year the first photograph was taken and the only thing I hate worse than Brussells sprouts is having my picture taken. Of course,...


A day is a lifetime

October 4, 2019

I’m 67 years old and thought I was a goner at 40. The doctors thought so, too. If you’d have offered me a deal back then that I could live to be only 45 years...


KISS

September 27, 2019

Why is it in conversation with one’s horse or one’s dog we use simple, one syllable words like “come,” “sit” or “speak?” But when we talk to fellow human beings we feel compelled to use...


Mining the miners

September 23, 2019

The big thing in ranching currently is in discovering profit centers on your ranch that were previously lying dormant. I’m talking recreational ranching where you charge dudes who want to be western for a week....


Judging the halter

September 13, 2019

There always has been, and always will be, three types of people in this world: upper, middle and lower class. Another fact of life is that the middle and lower class folks will do almost...


Incoming

September 6, 2019

Government officials say over 5,000 invasive species have infiltrated our ecosystem and our economy causing an estimated $120 billion in damages annually. Here’s my top 10 list of invasive species in America today. 10. Fake...


Halloween for adults

August 30, 2019

The only reason I can think of for going to conventions is to fill up swag bags full of free stuff at the trade show. During my career I’ve put together a world-class collection of...


Forecast for the weekend

August 23, 2019

Monday through Friday if you were to ask me what day of the week it is there’s a 50% chance I’d guess wrong. My biological clock simply doesn’t do weekdays. One day is as good,...


House calls

August 16, 2019

PETA has declared victory in their battle over fur and now they want to go to war over wool. I guess no one has told PETA that you don’t have to kill a sheep to...


Infamous vegetarians

August 9, 2019

I’m getting sick and tired of vegans and vegetarians bragging about all the famous people down through history who were vegetarians for at least part of their lives. I’ll admit it’s a pretty impressive list:...


The Lock Mess Monster

August 2, 2019

There are two kinds of people in this world: those who prefer combination locks and those who like locks with keys. Combo people are generally early adopters of technology, good in math, boring, generous, precise...


Sticker shock

July 25, 2019

If I appear to be walking a little funny lately it’s because it’s sticker season. It’s that time of year when all the foxtails dry out and attempt to attach themselves permanently to my clothing....


Facts, figures and formulas

July 19, 2019

School sure has changed since I went. Back in the 50s and 60s, when I was terrorizing teachers, about the biggest thing we had to worry about were pop quizzes and being sent to the...


Loco En La Cabeza

July 12, 2019

I think I may have a slight problem. My wife thinks I’ve reached the point of being borderline crazy. I’ll give you just one small example and let you decide. I’ve always been highly organized....


No gifts please

July 5, 2019

I was talking with a friend about things people collect when he told me about a fellow who collected running shoes that belonged to famous runners. His collection was world class and he was only...


Hear it roar

June 28, 2019

My environmentalist neighbor has a real dilemma on his hands. He spent a wad of money covering the roof on his house with solar panels to generate enough electricity to power his house, lower his...


Grounded

June 20, 2019

One of my biggest regrets in life is that I never got my pilot’s license. I often wonder what kind of career I’d have had if I took the money I spent on getting a...