Lee Pitts | TheFencePost.com

Lee Pitts

Pitts: Relatively speaking

October 19, 2018 — My family talks funny. My mom and grandparents on her side of the family are all gone now but I can still hear them using words like privy, lariat, pipsqueak, scuttlebutt and wieners. They said things were okey-dokey and the bee's knees. My grandfather, a

Learn more »

Pitts: Signs of a stroke

October 16, 2018 — One of the signs you're getting old is the AARP and the American Heart Association will send you pamphlets warning about the signs of a heart attack or stroke. Trust me, it's not junk mail. Nor is it anything to laugh at, although I'm often

Learn more »

Pitts: My best idea yet

October 5, 2018 — I've tried everything to make a living in the cow business. I bought expensive replacement heifers when the grass was green and the price was high only to have to sell them for beef eight months later when the grass and the market both dried

Learn more »

Pitts: Save the ice cube

September 28, 2018 — I have lived for most of my life within 10 miles of San Luis Obispo, Calif., or SLO as it's known. Normally I hate cities, long lines and traffic jams so I tend to stay away from places with stoplights, but as towns go, SLO

Learn more »

Pitts: Everybody looks better in a cowboy hat

September 21, 2018 — When I taught myself how to engrave silver conchas I practiced on coins. Most of it was foreign coinage but occasionally I'd practice on U.S. coins. And yes, it's legal as long as a person doesn't try to defraud anyone. Turning nickels into quarters would

Learn more »

Pitts: Name your poison

September 14, 2018 — Today's lesson is about poisonous plants, dangerous delectables and fatal feedstuffs. I'm talking nightshade, lupine, milkweed and the poison used to kill Socrates: hemlock. Water hemlock is said to look a lot like parsnips and a human can die in half an hour just by

Learn more »

Pitts: Slow-moving traffic

September 7, 2018 — If all the cars in the world were placed end to end … they'd probably be behind a slow-moving cattle truck. Everyone is in such a hurry these days they don't have time to waste behind a Gooseneck filled with cattle. So they pass with

Learn more »

Pitts: Don’t eat the bait

August 31, 2018 — The Cigarette Act of 1965 required labels on packages to warn consumers about the dangers of smoking. Although, if people who inhaled all that smoke didn't realize it was unhealthy I doubt they were smart enough to read the labels to begin with. That being

Learn more »

Pitts: A losing battle

August 24, 2018 — We've turned the corner on beef consumption and it's back on the rise after more than a decade of falling like a sack of hammers. I attribute beef's decline to the plethora of diets urging folks to skip the meat in favor of melba toast,

Learn more »

Pitts: I don’t brake for cows

August 17, 2018 — I don't know why my friend Joan sent me Allen Swift's obituary, other than the fact he was the oldest living owner of a vehicle that had been purchased new. I suspect it's because she thought I held that title because I drove a truck

Learn more »

Pitts: He/she cowpeople

August 13, 2018 — If I may be permitted to do so, I'd like to come to the defense of one of my favorite places on earth: the wonderful state of Wyoming. The busy-bodies with nothing better to do, who always go around looking for something to be offended

Learn more »

Pitts: Papered people

August 3, 2018 — There's a distinct difference between commercial cattlemen and those who raise registered cattle. The biggest contrast is purebred people dress differently and use aftershave. Go to a fancy hotel at the same time purebred breeders are holding their annual convention and you won't know if

Learn more »

Pitts: Runnin’ on the rims

July 27, 2018 — The single most important economic trait in beef cattle today is not milk production, frame score, birthweight, weaning weight, yearling weight or the size of an animal's reproductive parts. We have EPD's for weight, milking ability and calving ease but not one breed association has

Learn more »

Pitts: Rest in pieces

July 13, 2018 — If the obituary of our country is ever written, this is how it might read: United States of America, July 4, 1776 – Nov. 4, 2046, 270 years of age. The last of the great super powers died quietly at home surrounded by 350 million

Learn more »

Pitts: Don’t be these people

June 29, 2018 — I've been in some form of the auction business for 45 years and have viewed auctions from all perspectives, from buyer, consignor, ring man, auctioneer, clerk, sale manager, etc. So I speak from some experience when I say there are some folks we'd just as

Learn more »

Pitts: I wish I was a cow

June 22, 2018 — Sometimes I wish I was a cow because they lose their teeth by the time they're 10 and they never have to go to the dentist. I hate to admit this but I'm afraid of dentists. I've been opened up by surgeons from stem to

Learn more »

Pitts: You may be a dude if

June 15, 2018 — In the sorting alley it's easy to separate the dudes from the real cowboys. You may be a dude if: There are sheets on your bed in the bunkhouse. The camp cookie is a three-star Michelin chef. When you set out for the day's work

Learn more »

Pitts: White truck syndrome

June 8, 2018 — My wonderful wife is the picture of perfect health with only one known ailment: she suffers from what is known in the medical community as "white coat syndrome." At home, my wife's blood pressure hovers right around 110/75 but when she goes in for her

Learn more »

Pitts: Real fakes

June 1, 2018 — I don't know about you but I got really irritated when I learned about the legal battle in which test tubers and tofu fabricators are arguing that they should be allowed to label their product as "meat." What's next? Are we going to see top

Learn more »

Pitts: The No-Tel Motel

May 25, 2018 — As a travelin' man I spent my life in hotels and motels. I preferred motels to hotels because they were usually closer to my car so I was more mobile and I could escape being incarcerated, which is how I felt every time I stayed

Learn more »