Lee Pitts | TheFencePost.com

Opinion > Lee Pitts >

Lee Pitts

The herd heard

January 24, 2020

I’ve always been a very curious fellow. I think it was my curiosity that made me a writer. As the poet Alastair Reid wrote, “Only the curious have a tale worth telling.” One of the...


The Greenlash has begun

January 17, 2020

Ladies and gentlemen, the Greenlash has begun. All along the urban/rural interface the peasants are revolting. Those who used to cuss the farmer now flock to farmers’ markets. They cursed cows until the cow pastures...


Rural cleansing

January 10, 2020

I could never be a homemaker. It’s waaay too much work and too much of it is of a repetitive nature. Take dusting furniture, washing dishes and vacuuming the carpet for example. You do it...


Inside out

January 3, 2020

There really are only two kinds of people in this world, those who prefer being inside and those who prefer being outside. I have devised this little test to see which kind you are. 1....


Serving hard time (Best Of)

December 27, 2019

The justice system sentenced me to a day in their custody last week. I got called for jury duty. There were a couple reasons I didn’t call in sick. Number one, I thought it was...


Never stumpers

December 20, 2019

I vacillate between being a traditionalist afraid of the future and being an early adopter of technology. I bought the first model of Apple Macintosh computer ever sold but I don’t have a cell phone....


Stuck in the middle

December 13, 2019

A word to the wise to newly married couples … if you’re going to have kids have one, two or four but NEVER three. For your happiness and that of your family, avoid the much...


And thus began my education

December 6, 2019

A lot of parents are going to be mad at me for saying this but someone needs to say it. So here goes: not every kid should go to a four year college. My rule...


The Toothless Cattle Company

November 29, 2019

I wasn’t always a tightwad. I didn’t always stoop to pick up pennies, straighten bent paper clips or shop in thrift stores. As a kid my grandparents gave me 10 Carson City silver dollars every...


Takin’ it to the streets

November 22, 2019

We’re all supposed to have gone global by now. If you want a new computer you phone a call center in India which passes on your order to a multinational corporation in China who uses...


Old news

November 15, 2019

I have a friend who worked for a livestock newspaper for 40 years who has newspaper ink clogging up his veins. Recently he’s been involuntarily checked into cell block 314 of the Old Farts Senior...


Stage fright

November 8, 2019

It’s the Pitts Lee Pitts Los Osos, Calif.


Fake out

November 1, 2019

It seems like everything is fake these days: fake news, fake ice cream, fake money, fake teeth, fake knees, fake hips and fake identities. Bald guys are wearing toupees, women are getting fake boobs and...


My iron in the fire

October 25, 2019

One of the rites of passage of a cowboy’s life is the day you get your own brand. I remember the first time I took my iron out of the fire as all work stopped...


Kissing cousins

October 18, 2019

I just finished reading a book about Albert Einstein written by Walter Isaacson and I don’t know what possessed me to do it. It was hard reading and the author used a lot of words...


Smile

October 11, 2019

I think I should have lived my life before 1826. That’s the year the first photograph was taken and the only thing I hate worse than Brussells sprouts is having my picture taken. Of course,...


A day is a lifetime

October 4, 2019

I’m 67 years old and thought I was a goner at 40. The doctors thought so, too. If you’d have offered me a deal back then that I could live to be only 45 years...


KISS

September 27, 2019

Why is it in conversation with one’s horse or one’s dog we use simple, one syllable words like “come,” “sit” or “speak?” But when we talk to fellow human beings we feel compelled to use...


Mining the miners

September 23, 2019

The big thing in ranching currently is in discovering profit centers on your ranch that were previously lying dormant. I’m talking recreational ranching where you charge dudes who want to be western for a week....


Judging the halter

September 13, 2019

There always has been, and always will be, three types of people in this world: upper, middle and lower class. Another fact of life is that the middle and lower class folks will do almost...