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Sow’s Ear

Petersen: What to name the baby

October 19, 2018 — Harry and Harriet, cattle ranchers, were about to have their second child. The question became: What to name the baby. Sometimes a serious name, chosen with love, can turn into an embarrassing nickname that sticks to the child forever. So, Harriet and Harry thought and

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You know it’s going to be a hard winter

October 16, 2018 — The good ol' boys at the coffee shop, stressed-out ranchers gloomily palaverin' about the weather while leaning on the backend of a pickup and anxious business townsfolk pondering the pessimistic prospect of nobody buying their merchandise are all guessing what winter will be like. Professional

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Petersen: How to extricate oneself from chairs and couches

October 5, 2018 — You may or may not be swimming in the Ocean of Dotage. If you are, you might identify with the following excerpt from How to Be Elderly, A User's Guide, Volume One — a small book I penned way back when I began sliding down

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Petersen: DawgDays

September 28, 2018 — Here we all are… stumbling onward toward 2019. For a bazillion years, I've written and produced an annual Toot, Snoot, 'n Hoot comedy show, proceeds benefitting a variety of good causes. Digging through old, and often fossilized files, I came across one script featuring The

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Petersen: Hellbent for Election

September 21, 2018 — Recently, a fellow writer said she found writing comedy was hard. She asked, "How do you do it? Where do you get material and ideas?" "Well," I answered, "besides looking at my face in the mirror each morning, all I have to do is read

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Petersen: Jake and Jerome

August 31, 2018 — The following is a true story. The names have been changed to protect the guilty. Jake and Jerome, two retired cowpokes sat in rocking chairs on Jake's veranda discussing the meaning of life which often meant the conversation turned to the fine art of fishing.

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Petersen: Dastardly deeds in Galloping Gulch

August 24, 2018 — Ever since the dawn of time and the later emergence of humankind, all cultures have depicted the times of their lives through assorted performing arts. Out West, amateur thespian groups can be found in the larger cities and in most small towns. Like musical groups,

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Petersen: The touriens

August 13, 2018 — It's midsummer and once again the touriens are with us. tourien: A noun recently accepted as a legitimate word in the New Dictionary of American Lingo, 1776 edition. The expression represents an amalgamation of tourien: (tour-ist — noun. One who travels for pleasure), and: (alien

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Petersen: Vegetarian anthems

July 27, 2018 — The core feeling among vegetarians is: They've figured out the meaning of life. They're quite sure that they'll live forever. Is anybody else, besides myself, confused about differences among assorted styles of vegetarians? Just to clarify, I've penned some definitions in verse form. Vegetarian Anthems

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Petersen: Crystal cuddlers

June 22, 2018 — This true story took place quite a few years ago. Della, a ranch woman — then in her 80s — operated her own small ranch. She was an old-time rancher, almost entirely self-sufficient. She raised an assortment of sheep, goats, chickens, rabbits and tended an

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Petersen: Carded at CheapCo

June 15, 2018 — Recently a friend and I were shopping in one of those CheapCo cut-rate stores, the kind that have a bazillion low-priced items that you can't live without. We shop there for low prices on computer ink, crossword puzzle books, recycled cheap movies and office supply

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Petersen: Tallulah

June 8, 2018 — And then there's the story of cowgirl Tallulah (not her real name) who lost the diamond from her wedding ring. Tallulah is in the business of training horses. It happened the day she was riding across a whole lot of prairie — on a green-broke

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Petersen: The right to bearhammers

June 1, 2018 — Every sane person is desperate to protect kids and others from people with twisted minds who go on killing sprees. Pro-gun or anti-gun … the blame game never stops. Did you know that other objects that have killing potential are being investigated by authorities, such

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Petersen: Golden Age Hooplah

May 11, 2018 — Have you ever constructed a newsletter? Or thought about doing so? These days it seems every business, store, organization, school, website…you name it, a newsletter brags on its product or service. Thus, I am moved to create a newsletter on behalf of persons of "golden

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Petersen: My embarrassing moment

May 4, 2018 — Have you ever been deeply embarrassed because of something dumb that happened to you? I certainly have. The latest mortification occurred just last week. Some things one cannot make up. One can only profess, confess and admit to what happened. This is an absolutely true

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Petersen: The twine that binds

April 27, 2018 — It's been a long winter. Spring should be around the corner. However, yesterday, we had another snow storm. Well, half snow, half rain. Roads are a woefully-muddy mess. Ranchers are using up the last of their winter hay and some are having to buy more,

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Petersen: Delia and Delbert

April 6, 2018 — Have you been to your high school reunion? Delia has. This is her story. When Delia was tripping over the beginning of her teen years — she was maybe 12 or 13 — there was a young boy in her elementary school who had a

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Petersen: Government help

March 30, 2018 — Being a rancher means: … you have an "organic" connection to the land every single day and lots of nights. … unless you're a movie star, it takes a second job to support your ranch. Which is why many ranchers and most horseshoers marry school

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Petersen: Limericks to live by

March 23, 2018 — National Ag month recognizes that without farming and ranching, humans would have nothing to eat or wear. Here's a few limericks that showcase (sorta) how cowboys, farmers and plain pig farmers get the job — of feeding and clothing the world — done. LIMERICKS TO

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Petersen: The triumphant return of red meat

March 16, 2018 — In a magazine, called "Men's Health," writer, Markham Heid, penned a thoughtful article titled: The Triumphant Return of Red Meat. "…research reveals that the evils of beef are a load of bull." Heid quotes Dariush Mozaffarian, chair of nutrition at Tufts University, who has been

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