Long-ago life in the slow lane
It’s my observation that everything in the world seems to be going at an ever-increasing pace. It’s a hustle and bustle, hurry and scurry world we’re living in. Our shirt-tails seldom hit our backsides.
Our cars and trucks convey us quietly, safely strapped in at 75 miles per hour, in air-conditioned comfort and luxury, with our butts swaddled in cushy bucket-seats, entertained with from-the-sky music of our choice, and kept on track to our destination with near flawless satellite guidance. Our tractors and self-propelled farm equipment are similarly advanced.
It’s a present old timers never envisioned when we were living during our distant past.
However, we old geezers who meet up twice a day for our gabfest over coffee, sodas and iced tea, fondly recall the days of our youth when much of life wuz lived in the slow lane — with pickups and cars that traversed the gravel roads with care to avoid tire punctures, with cab-less tractors that Johnny-popped along at an body-cooling breezy pace, or riding in a saddle on horseback, the slowest, most satisfying, and leisurely pace of all.
Reliving those long-ago slow lane days at coffee lets us conjure up fond memories. Some of them are humorous, like this one told to the group just a few days ago.
In a small rural town that boasted three service stations, there lived a guy, ol’ Polk A. Long, who epitomized conservative, money-saving living in the slow lane. He pinched-pennies in every area of his life. Polk even used the bathrooms at the service stations to save water at home.
Also, Polk was well-known locally for driving his battered vehicle so slowly that he hindered normal traffic. He defended his slow-driving habit as “the best way to save fuel.” But, his battered old vehicle sported some stylish hubcaps all the way around, and Polk wuz proud of way they dressed up the appearance of his conveyance.
Well, as the story wuz told, one day Polk parked in the lot of his favorite filling station after finishing a slow-motion trip to a nearby town. But, when he got out of his car, he looked back and stopped short. Then he hustled to the other side of the car and took a close look. Then, with a look of disgust on his face, he stomped into the filling station and flounced down in a chair.
The station proprietor could tell Polk wuz irritated, so he casually asked, “What’s eating at you, my friend?”
Ol’ Polk replied, “Some SOB has stolen a hubcap off of my car.”
The station owner, taking nary a moment to think about a response, advised Polk, “Better start driving faster or the thief may steal the other three.”
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A current-day news item I read a few days ago fits right in with this column about fast-lane versus slow-lane living. The strange research project discovered that loving good music could be dangerous to your longevity.
The research team looked at correlations between fatal traffic deaths and the release of new popular songs by a person’s favorite singer. The finding was that there wuz a significant uptick in traffic fatalities in the days following the release of the song.
The apparent reason is that drivers got so distracted with the song that their driving got impaired and they had fatal crashes.
If the research results of this study are true, then the term “that’s a killer of a new song” carries an element of truth to it.
All I can say for myself it that it’s a good thing Merle Haggard, “The Possum” George Jones, and “The Storyteller” Tom T. Hall aren’t going to be releasing any new songs.
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I chuckle at how inconsistent dietary research is. Today, research finds that a food is bad for you and shortly thereafter new research shows the bad food is actually good for you.
The latest convoluted food research finding is that eggs are good for your heart and do not contribute to cholesterol buildup in your blood vessels. I could have told them that and saved a lot of research money. I’m an egg junkie and it’s a rare day that I don’t eat at least two or more eggs.
The “new” research took place in 142 countries. Researchers analyzed blood samples from among egg eaters of many different age groups, nationalities and races.
The bottom line, researchers concluded, is that the cholesterol in eggs was beneficial to the body and vascular system, contrary to what was previously believed.
So, now you can chow down on your eggs fried, scrambled, poached, or deviled with a clean conscience, knowing that eggs are a healthful food to eat.
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While I’m reporting on unusual ag related research, I also recently read that Kansas ranks 48th out of our 50 states for growing your own food. New research from MidsouthAG places Kansas 48th in the country for growing your own food. Kansas ranks 48th with 23 community gardens which is 1 per 35,522 residents. Yard sizes average 0.55 acres and the state receives 28.9 inches of annual rainfall, but its ‘Grow Your Own’ rank was low and its moderate gardening infrastructure put it near the bottom overall.
The bottom 10 states for home gardening, according to the article, were: Missouri, Maine, Virginia, Nebraska, Tennessee, Florida, Alaska, Kansas, Nevada and Ohio.
I’d contest those findings, based on what I see. Almost every Kansas family I know grows some type of garden. Farmer’s Markets exist in most Kansas towns of any size.
In truth, the limitations on Kansas gardens are weather, temperature and water availability.
But, I still see a strong desire to grow summer gardens.
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It ain’t official spring yet, but I see strong signs of spring everywhere, and the little birdies are the best indicators. First, a couple of weeks ago, the robins flocked through the Flint Hills, dropping off hundreds to nest in the region this summer. Then the males of the resident white-winged doves started their distinctive mating flight rituals. Next the male cardinals have started singing their spring love songs. And, finally, today I saw the vanguard of the red-winged blackbird northern migration. They will disperse into mating areas about quarter-mile apart. Their arrival is a certain indicator of spring.
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Words of wisdom for the week are: “Birds sing after a storm; why shouldn’t people feel as free to delight in whatever sunlight remains to them?” — Rose Fitzgerald Kennedy. Have a good ‘un.
