More livestock show shenanigans
When I started the livestock show shenanigans column theme two weeks ago, I didn’t realize just how many strange and quirky show happenings I’ve either witnessed or been a part of. So, I’m on to part three of this series.
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One that I vividly remember happened at a junior livestock show in Woodward, Okla. The show started in a terrible March blizzard, but since everyone wuz holed up in town becuz all the roads were closed, the show officials decided to continue the show.
I wuz taking pictures of the champions and breed winners at the end of the market hog show. A cute young 4-H’er had the champion Berkshire barrow. So, I had his parents get a feed pan and we coaxed the hog into a corner so I could get a good side picture.
Back in those days, I wuz using an old press camera and was using long outdated World War II surplus flash bulbs. Everything wuz set up picture perfect, but when I pressed the button to get the picture, the danged flash bulb didn’t just flash — it loudly banged, exploded and blew shattered glass all over the poor kid and his hog.
Needless to say, everyone wuz startled. I wuz embarrassed beyond words. But, luckily the explosion didn’t do any serious harm — no cuts or bruises. But, I learned my lesson and complained to my flash bulb supplier about the liability we faced with the defective flash bulbs. From that date on, my flash bulbs were new.
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At the open market steer show at the Tulsa State Fair, I once saw some Texas exhibitors thrown out of the beef show for forcing water into a critter’s stomach so it would make the minimum weight for the show.
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I once saw steer at an unnamed county fair get revenge on the beef judge that slapped it loudly on the rump to proclaim it the grand champion. It’s revenge consisted of a reflex hind leg kick right into a tender spot on the judge’s anatomy. I bet that judge wuz more careful at every show he judged after that one.
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Back in the day, I was casual friends with two prominent beef cattle judges. One wuz a Limousin breeder from Welch, Okla., and the other wuz a Polled Hereford breeder from Larned, Kan. The pair became close friends because they often judged different beef breeds at the same livestock show.
I recall that they had a unique way of greeting each other when they first met at a beef show. When they first spotted each other, without saying a word, they immediately grinned widely and shook hands, each pulled a quarter from his pocket, flipped the coins and called “odd or even.” The coin toss loser paid the winner a $10 bill. That greeting often took place in front of big crowds at the shows, but the close friends didn’t give a hoot about appearances.
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One of the saddest livestock show happenings didn’t take place during the show, but at the lamb show pre weigh-in months before the show. The lambs were weighed in for two shows to be held 30 miles apart. A 4-H mother coaxed the weigh-in crew to let her weigh her kids’ lambs first because she wuz on a tight schedule.
When the lambs were weighed and reloaded into her pickup truck’s slide-in stock rack, she raced away to the second location. Sadly, on her way to the second weigh-in, the stock rack slid back in the pickup and two of the lambs fell out and were dragged most of the trip. Of course, neither lamb survived.
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From a personal stand point, when I wuz a 4-H’er, I had a Holstein heifer to show at the county fair. I read in a dairy showmanship booklet that grass stains on an entry’s knees should be washed out. I took that advice to heart, but no matter how much soap and water I used, the stubborn stains on my heifer’s white knees persisted. I remember being embarrassed about the knee-stains when I led the heifer into the show ring. And, when the heifer failed to place in the show, I blamed the stains as the reason. In hind sight, I’m sure the heifer didn’t place in the class because she wuzn’t a good enuf heifer and I wuzn’t a good enuf showman.
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At another county fair, I showed a Landrace barrow. It won the reserve grand championship. But, the fair’s hog entries were also entered in a carcass contest. My Landrace wuz so long and lean that I wuz sure it would win the carcass contest. Alas. my hog wuz not only long and lean, it also had a loin-eye much smaller than the grand-champion Duroc — which, by the way, was shown by my life-long friend ol Canby Handy.
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I read the following chicken wing info about the Super Bowl. I have no idea if the info is true. But, here it is: “The National Chicken Council projected Americans would eat 1.48 billion chicken wings during Super Bowl LX. To put that in perspective, if you lined up 1.48 billion wings end to end, they’d stretch from Boston to Seattle 27 times. They’d circle the entire planet almost three times. You’d need more than 3,400 semi-trucks to haul them all, creating a 40-mile convoy of nothing but chicken wings.”
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Words of wisdom for the week: “Television insults my intelligence. My computer rubs my ignorance in.” Have a good ‘un.
