Welcome visitor

Last week I got an unexpected visit, but a welcome one, from my retired carpenter friend from Colorado, ol’ Sawyer Bord. Sawyer stopped by one morning on his way to visit two of his cousins in Chase County. 

Sawyer and I go back probably 10 years. I first met him when he came to the Old Boar’s Breakfast Club that meets weekly in Saffordville, Kan. I discovered that he and I have a mutual interest in fishing. So, we joined up and we’ve caught a lot of fish in the Flint Hills since we first met.

While Sawyer and I were visiting a week ago, I mentioned that the day before I’d finally sold my jon boat, trolling motor and all the accessories to a fellow and his teenage son from Minneapolis, Kan. 

I decided to sell the boat because I’ve gotten too old for all the rigmarole involved in fishing from a boat. From now on, for me it’s plunking my aged butt down for simple bank fishing. I’d do more of that but I can’t find good fishing ponds any place close to our new home in Riley.

Thankfully, Sawyer is in better fishing shape than I am and he related that he’s just about to complete what he calls his “Fishing Bucket List.” During his life, he’s fished in 49 of the 50 states. The only state he lacks is Hawaii, and he’s already booked a flight to the island state to complete his bucket list.

While I’m talking about ol’ Sawyer, I might as well admit that he’s got a quirky trait that makes him fit in perfectly with lots of my other friends. As I fished with Sawyer, I noticed that he kept throwing back all the big fish he caught and kept all the small fish. 

At first, I thought that quirky behavior wuz a commendable conservation effort. But, when I asked him why he always threw away the big fish, his explanation wuz simple as simple could be. He said he didn’t have a skillet big enuf to cook the big fish in.

***

Everyone knows that grain farmers are having a tough time making ends meet. They are dealing with low grain prices, bad weather, high-priced fertilizer and pesticides, low exports, high fuel costs, high taxes, etc. 

Something happened to me recently that drove home how bad the situation really is and the predicament grain farmers are in. Even the federal government is suddenly realizing the problem. Here’s what happened:

I wuz driving along a rural road when I saw a flurry of activity around a pickup truck and tractor out in the end rows of a soybean field. I thought it might be someone having trouble, so I stopped to help.  

But it wasn’t. It was some federal wildlife biologist from Washington, D.C. He and his capture crew had a a farmer pinned down on the ground  and they were installing one of those radio transmitter tracking devices in the poor fellers’ ears. 

When I asked what was going on, the biologist said, “I’ve been hired by USDA because the government believes grain farmers are becoming a rare and endangered species, And, it wants to use these Radio Frequency ID tags to track and find out what grain farmers are doing to adapt and survive in the new global economy. 

I watched him turn the producer loose and the poor guy leaped into his rickety pickup truck and left in a cloud of dust. I’ll be interested in the results of that study, too. 

***

The last few weeks I’ve been revealing facts about my difficult childhood. I’ve thought of another incident that wuz a stark reminder of those tough days.

The Yield family wuz so poor that when mom wanted to buy a new bedspread, my pappy Czar E. Yield said she could buy it only if she could justify the purchase.

So, mom told Czar that she would buy the bedspread. Then, years later when it got worn, she would sew it into bedroom curtains. Then when the curtains were worn, she would cut them into dish towels. Then when the towels were worn out, she’d use them for dish rags. Then when the dish rags were worn, she’d tear them into mop strands. And, finally, when the mop strands were worn out, she stuff them into the cracks around the windows to keep out the winter cold.

After that justification, she got to buy her new bedspread.

***

I recently got into a conversation about diets and favorite foods. I contributed to the conversation by saying that “You are what you eat.”

Another guy replied, “Well, then. What’s your favorite food.”

“Easy,” I answered. “Jerky!”

***

After more than 60 years of marriage, it shouldn’t surprise anyone that Nevah’s and my marriage has gotten kind of stagnant. We’re mostly stay-at-home folks.

In fact, the most frequent reason we go out together these days is when the smoke alarm goes off in the kitchen.

***

My words of wisdom for this week comes from Jenkins Lloyd Jones. He said, “The essence of free enterprise is that it has provided more people with more options than any other system. The Achilles heel of socialism is that, by its very nature, it diminishes options.” 

Have a good ‘un.